“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“We didn’t get the tax forms from Jack Joyce until Saturday, April 14. This means we can’t pay them until Monday, the 16th, the day after Easter.

(“My side bothers me considerably as I write this, at 8:30 PM. Yet I went for a walk after supper. I’m distinctly uneasy. After napping Thursday afternoon [the 12th] I fell into a deep depression, not speaking to anyone any more than necessary. This obviously involved Jane more than anyone else. My physical hassles have waxed and waned—I’m hoping that paying the taxes tomorrow helps. [They amount to much less than I’d figured on, incidentally—including estimated payments for 1979 —so one would expect me to respond to that—but I haven’t yet.

(“The pendulum insists there’s nothing wrong physically in the side-groin area, but I’m beginning to wonder. Pendulum tells me the side bothers because I’m not working on Mass Reality, which will get us money, whereas Through My Eyes is a less-certain project, would take longer, and the time I spend on it is time lost on Mass Reality. In other words, I’m very concerned about my financial contribution, and paying all those taxes exacerbates it all.

(“After supper tonight I told Jane that I felt as though I was “near a breaking point,” that I might have to seek medical help. For what I wasn’t sure—a hernia, something wrong in my side, stomach, or what. She was upset. We’d slept this afternoon from 2:30 until 6. I’d hoped I would feel better with the rest, which I seemed to crave, but it hadn’t helped. Nor had paying the taxes this morning, although it could take the body a while to respond to any change in status or thinking, and I’d seen this happen before.

Now: beside other reasons, the taxes serve as a focal point, because you feel you must pay tribute to the world that is described by Bill Gallagher—and in that world you feel you have no specific (underlined) conventional role, as earlier mentioned.

Ruburt thinks of taxes as money paid to society for leaving him alone. He pays his dues, so to speak. The dream did involve Saturday’s visit with the tax accountant (Jack Joyce), which in a way was a re-creation of the dream. Ruburt knew a few moments before the man’s visit that the taxes would be less than you supposed. He had been worried they might be more, and that you might become more upset.