“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I should note here that last Friday evening we were visited by the Gallaghers and Sue Watkins. As the evening progressed we became involved in some pretty heated and involved discussions about Three Mile Island, man’s greed for money, his basic good intent, and related issues. Bill and Sue especially got going pretty good, and Peggy said she didn’t like that. I think I made some good points; even Bill said he probably exaggerated man’s greed, yet he wasn’t about to change his views. Sue was upset. Jane was too, yet tried to take it all in. I probably spoke more frankly than I had in the past, yet was oddly unbothered by it all.

(I do wish I had on record some of my remarks, since in them I clarified some of my own ideas about man’s behavior versus his basic good intent.

To some extent (underlined) now, his beliefs stand for a certain conventionalized view of the world. To some extent (underlined) those views, colored by a different era, were those of your own father, concerning at least the world of commerce, business, and so forth. You all felt that those dire events of the cultural and social world were somehow transposed over the natural one.

Now: Bill Gallagher, with his beliefs about that world, in his mind joined it. He felt that he betrayed himself, that he performed acts that he should not perform in order to fit into its context, and he felt that he must do so in order to survive.

You were astonished when Ruburt told you how much money the Gallaghers were making, for if Bill sold his soul, few it seems could have sold it for less. Bill, however, concentrated upon life’s regrettable elements, upon the impediments, the dishonesties and so forth, until it seemed that even if he followed the world’s way he could not succeed. His idea of manliness was such that he insisted upon a conventional job, clear-cut.

As the evening progressed Sue Watkins became more and more upset, as Bill pointed out the toll that society demanded, the impossible stakes and the penalties that must be paid. Bill feels that his business productive life is coming to an end, when he will retire. He spoke of the values that existed when he was young in the world, that now are gone. With all of that as background, then look back to the time clock you found, hidden in your dream in a closet.

When you pursue new avenues, there are no such easy ways to assess success or failure (intently). Thinking in terms of the conventional world, however, you feel sometimes at a loss, for you want to say, “What am I?” in those terms (underlined)—an artist, or a writer, or a combination of the two? Ruburt wonders, what is he—a writer, a psychic, a combination of the two? The books bear his name, so you feel that they are primarily his, and yet all of those feelings ignore completely the larger realities of your lives and of your work.

The ideas of age bring this kind of thing into focus. They make Bill Gallagher for example more bitter about his life, for he feels cheated of the rewards when he followed the system. Conventional ideas of age, however, can limit your own ideas of your own creativity. You start thinking “How much time is available?” when the very creative thoughts themselves make more time available.

The discomfort in the testicle reflects the problem you feel with the masculine role. But the typical masculine role in your country, you must understand, is certainly not primarily that of an artist. If the male has natural abilities that happen to fall among those largely accepted by society, then there is little problem—in that regard at least—but if his natural abilities lie in other directions, then difficulties can arise.

Ruburt thinks of taxes as money paid to society for leaving him alone. He pays his dues, so to speak. The dream did involve Saturday’s visit with the tax accountant (Jack Joyce), which in a way was a re-creation of the dream. Ruburt knew a few moments before the man’s visit that the taxes would be less than you supposed. He had been worried they might be more, and that you might become more upset.

(10:47.) The tax man is a well-meaning individual, far from a rogue, with his own problems, and in the dream this information is realized by you, and hence picked up by Nebene. Joyce, by his very characteristics, in his way stood for the confused but well-meaning-enough society. Ruburt felt he had paid his dues, physically speaking, and was done with that.

His body is definitely improving, but you must both examine your beliefs again about the conventional matters I have spoken about this evening, for they affect your behavior. You need to free yourselves in your work, allow for regular hours, but as I have often told you, arrange for changes of your own choosing—ordered change is excellent. You lack the give-and-take with others that jobs provide. You need solitude. Yet you must also provide for changes within that routine, for those changes give you a different view of your own subjective reality. And they can often help you solve problems, simply because old associations are broken up.

(1. “Exercise: to send energy to Rob. Mentally see him in his studio, at drawing table. Imagine and visualize the energy all around the corner of the house and sky, rushing toward him; then am surprised when mentally the top of his head comes neatly off, like a lid from a jar. I see hands, mine I think, reaching in, straightening things out [as you’d untangle a telephone cord]. This upset me some. I was leery as if I didn’t know if I could harm him, rummaging around in there like that; then realized that these images represented tangles of thought that were being smoothed out. A few minutes later Rob is in the living room and I think he was watering the plants really. I thought he was in his studio and that’s where I saw all this. [About 9:30 AM.]

(2. “2:20 PM. Imagine Rob in writing room, soft, warm yellow light shines on him from Framework two, and though I didn’t specify, the light lingers particularly on his shoulder. Then I see him quite clearly in miniature, jumping and rolling high in the air, throwing his arms out....

(3. “8:30 PM....Decide to.... do another exercise with Rob. Instantly I see him seated in writing room and behind him stands a transparent whitish woman’s image, my astral self. From behind Rob, standing, she lightly soothes his forehead, then quickly is in his lap, facing him, sort of melting in with him; then they express their love.... or the actions express it....together in a fashion I can’t describe of both of their astral forms entwined, fly off into space. They separate, doing ballets in the sky come together again; very free.”

(“Before nap I asked for help from spontaneous self, and when I awakened I did feel better. Awoke several times during hour nap, realizing I felt rather good. Toward the end of my nap: I presume, a dream…. I was having a Seth session, seated at my place at living room table. Rob possibly could have been sitting in my desk chair. Anyhow, he was facing me. He started to yell, throw up his arms, and he was remembering some reincarnational material that was unpleasant. Possibly Seth had just given it to him. I came out of trance though, telling Rob everything was okay to remember, let it out, and let go. Another figure sat nearby, taking notes, and I think this was Rob too; this figure was more distant and said nothing….very clear.”