“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(“The pendulum insists there’s nothing wrong physically in the side-groin area, but I’m beginning to wonder. Pendulum tells me the side bothers because I’m not working on Mass Reality, which will get us money, whereas Through My Eyes is a less-certain project, would take longer, and the time I spend on it is time lost on Mass Reality. In other words, I’m very concerned about my financial contribution, and paying all those taxes exacerbates it all.

(I should note here that last Friday evening we were visited by the Gallaghers and Sue Watkins. As the evening progressed we became involved in some pretty heated and involved discussions about Three Mile Island, man’s greed for money, his basic good intent, and related issues. Bill and Sue especially got going pretty good, and Peggy said she didn’t like that. I think I made some good points; even Bill said he probably exaggerated man’s greed, yet he wasn’t about to change his views. Sue was upset. Jane was too, yet tried to take it all in. I probably spoke more frankly than I had in the past, yet was oddly unbothered by it all.

(I’d temporarily forgotten the dreams about Bill and Sue, although I have them selected for inclusion in Through My Eyes; they’re on file in that notebook. The one with Bill took place on March 29, 1979. Sue on March 31, 1979. This was a period in which I had a series of potent dreams that Jane has done a lot of work interpreting [including my famous dog dream of March 31, 1979], and which could easily make up several chapters in a book on the subject, if we had the time to produce it. These dreams have been operating as a series, as Jane has pointed out, which increases the value of a person’s dreams in unexpected ways. I think some original ideas are embodied here. Jane has interpreted the Bill and Sue dreams, and Seth has commented on them also. See the 845th session. All of Seth’s dream material has been excellent, by the way.

(“The pendulum repeated my insight of a couple of days ago—one that may be very important: that all of my upsets over the years, the stomach, the side, the groin, the shoulder—the whole bunch—stem from my consistent feeling that I’m a failure in life, that I don’t contribute enough, that I don’t help Jane enough, that I haven’t really made it as an artist or as a writer.

To some extent (underlined) now, his beliefs stand for a certain conventionalized view of the world. To some extent (underlined) those views, colored by a different era, were those of your own father, concerning at least the world of commerce, business, and so forth. You all felt that those dire events of the cultural and social world were somehow transposed over the natural one.

As the evening progressed Sue Watkins became more and more upset, as Bill pointed out the toll that society demanded, the impossible stakes and the penalties that must be paid. Bill feels that his business productive life is coming to an end, when he will retire. He spoke of the values that existed when he was young in the world, that now are gone. With all of that as background, then look back to the time clock you found, hidden in your dream in a closet.

When you pursue new avenues, there are no such easy ways to assess success or failure (intently). Thinking in terms of the conventional world, however, you feel sometimes at a loss, for you want to say, “What am I?” in those terms (underlined)—an artist, or a writer, or a combination of the two? Ruburt wonders, what is he—a writer, a psychic, a combination of the two? The books bear his name, so you feel that they are primarily his, and yet all of those feelings ignore completely the larger realities of your lives and of your work.

Ruburt used to feel embarrassed because he made more money in those terms than you, and certainly this played some role initially in the symptoms. (Does it still?) You could not have a job, obviously. You had to take care of him, and it seemed you both saved face; but almost all of your problems come from the unthinking acceptance of conventional ideas that have been allowed to hold sway.

The experiences also kept him from becoming too embroiled in your mood at the time, and by giving him an experience of your own joint greater subjective reality. The reincarnation dream (see the end of the session), however, had to do with Nebene, who resented any tribute paid to Rome, and was enraged by the crooked practices of all the tax collectors. He did not ascribe to Rome’s religion, or really agree with its government, and he felt that taxes simply represented money given to rogues and thieves to enrich the pockets of the wealthy. He himself believed in austerity.

(1. “Exercise: to send energy to Rob. Mentally see him in his studio, at drawing table. Imagine and visualize the energy all around the corner of the house and sky, rushing toward him; then am surprised when mentally the top of his head comes neatly off, like a lid from a jar. I see hands, mine I think, reaching in, straightening things out [as you’d untangle a telephone cord]. This upset me some. I was leery as if I didn’t know if I could harm him, rummaging around in there like that; then realized that these images represented tangles of thought that were being smoothed out. A few minutes later Rob is in the living room and I think he was watering the plants really. I thought he was in his studio and that’s where I saw all this. [About 9:30 AM.]