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TPS4 Deleted Sessions May 3, 1978 9/40 (22%) Wayne flamboyant discipline housewife shine
– The Personal Sessions: Book 4 of The Deleted Seth Material
– © 2016 Laurel Davies-Butts
– Deleted Sessions May 3, 1978 9:45 PM Wednesday

[... 7 paragraphs ...]

Without going into background information again, and regardless of the reasons, people in your time have been taught to regard their natures with suspicion. Since Ruburt’s nature was rather—rather—extravagantly different from what he considered the norm to be, and since he possessed abilities that were not common generally and specifically to his sex, he became even more unduly suspicious of his own nature. He believed then that he needed safeguards.

[... 1 paragraph ...]

None of Ruburt’s characteristics are “negative,” bad, or dangerous. All of them, recognized as a part of his nature, would basically work together in the most auspicious, satisfying, and fulfilling of fashions. When he fears his own nature, however, then the qualities are not put together as smoothly, so that one can appear contradictory to the other. Thusly, Ruburt felt that there were contradictions between spontaneity and discipline, the intuitions and the intellect. Therefore he tried to be either spontaneous or disciplined, or intellectual or intuitive, but with the implied supposition that these were somehow opposing conditions, or opposing elements of behavior.

[... 3 paragraphs ...]

The inner order of the body is hidden within its great spontaneous abilities. Now Ruburt once felt that he had to discipline his impulses, lest they spontaneously lead him where he felt his purposes, or safety, might be threatened. If he understands now that his own nature provides for his sustenance, and automatically leads him into fulfillment, and couches his existence in perfect safety (leaning forward), then certain things will become clear.

(10:10.) Give us a moment.... He has been painting lately, quite happily anticipating the next painting period, yet at the same time worried that he is not writing instead; or when he does write on Seven, he does so because he thinks he should. So he experiences a conflict. He did give in to the impulse to paint, however. The painting is providing a mental rest, aiding in the coordination of hand and eye, and allowing him to work at certain inner challenges in a different way. His nature knows he needs the variety—the creative variety.

The visual activity itself stimulates different portions of the psyche, and allows mental concepts to be rearranged while he is thus occupied. New intuitional insights grow while he is not thinking in those terms, and if he trusted his nature more fully he could enjoy the painting more while also realizing that other levels of the self had their own reasons. The impulse to paint, therefore, fits in with the same kind of spontaneous “discipline” that is so magnificent in the activity of the body.

Because of your age difference, Ruburt felt he had to catch up, and he became more conscious of clock time. I want those sessions read again that I gave about his attitudes toward “work.” They were designed specifically for him and his nature, for when he forgets about work, with its connotations for him, then he is at his most intuitively creative, and inspiration springs naturally and quickly at his beckoning.

You have both done well since our last session. Ruburt on his own began to give the old suggestion “My legs and knees can bear my weight,” for he suddenly realized that that was indeed true. His fears, unexpressed, now being given expression, led him to certain beliefs about the body. I am giving this material again for your easy current reference. He can indeed walk easier and better now —another suggestion that he can begin to use. There will be variations, however, as you must understand from material I have given you recently.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

It will help if the two of you together discuss your feelings about time and work. Ruburt’s nature will see to it that he has time to do all the important things he wants to do in any given day. Becoming more aware of his desires will activate the body so that it performs more quickly in order to meet his goals. In the past he cut the desires down, to make sure that the most important prerogatives would be met, but his picture of reality was too small. The body and mind both need stimuli, variety, and richness, and his nature automatically seeks expression, not repression.

[... 2 paragraphs ...]

John Wayne represented old lines of conventionalized beliefs about the male. Wayne represented feelings about the male that you received in your background from your father, and through boyhood movies, in which the male could afford affectionate behavior or conversation—only with his horse (with amusement). In other words, the uncommunicative male, who was afraid of open sentiment. The dream was in response to our last session, in part, and of your own musings as a result. You saw yourself as separate from Wayne, and able to manipulate much more quickly. And your feelings in the dream toward him were your feelings toward those old beliefs.

[... 15 paragraphs ...]

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