“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You were Ruburt’s younger brother at that time, and both of you engaged in many bloody religious battles. You were blunt men, yet highly emotional, living for some time near Constantinople, but ranging far, even to Afghanistan, and on several occasions meeting bands from Rome.

He accepted you as a mate and teacher, however, and put such weight upon your words because in that old context you were a male. You both decided to use power indirectly, however, to affect your civilization through thought rather than through combat. In early years Ruburt found it difficult even to contradict you, even while he insisted upon his own independence of mind, and upon his use of his abilities. At times, however, you refused to lead in this life when circumstances might have warranted a more active role at particular times, because in that previous life you would not buck Ruburt, and because you also were more cautious this time about the use of personal power.

This time those followers are provided with information you did not have then, and they are taught to be true to themselves. They are told not to be cruel or fanatical, not to die for the sword, or by the sword. Yet they look to you. Ruburt became overly cautious, however, and your own attitudes helped. To some extent you felt, both of you, that a woman, gifted, needed greater protection. She was not as dependable, nor should she really show her face in public—so to some extent, now, the symptoms took the place of the veil.

You also questioned. You set up a system of balances so that you would think before using your power. This was overdone, however. On the other hand it was reassuring now because in that other life you were afraid of your own impetuosity, together, and had to know you could control it while using your abilities. You have each controlled it. There is no need then to further show yourselves that you can indeed be understanding and compassionate leaders. In that joint venture it made little difference which of you accepted the role that would in one way or another prevent the both of you from misusing power, for the one role would be passive while the other was active.

You simply decided to know what you were doing this time, and an over-conscientiousness on both of your parts led you to rein in your joint spontaneity.

You also both felt that you needed isolation from society, and a position from which you could examine it with some solitude, while still maintaining contacts—and while still affecting it through your works. You did not want to sell your paintings because you did not want that much direct contact with that society or marketplace (intently).

In any case, in the context of this discussion, had you not married Ruburt, you would have remained single, or possibly married to a woman who also would not want children. You were both used to the idea of attaining knowledge and influencing minds. In the Turkish life that meant following Allah and the dictates of holy battle. Now you know that no wars are holy, only regrettable.

You were the elder this time, where before you were the younger. Ruburt looked up to you in those days as once you looked up to him. There is no need for a handicap of any kind. You both also had from other existences strong drives toward privacy and secrecy. The television program you saw about monasteries and privacy to some extent applies here, for in the hurly-burly of medieval life there was no privacy for thought.

You both had existences in which you combined the traits of each in medieval Europe. Sacred manuscripts were often stolen from one monastery and taken to another, where they were exchanged for the goods of this world, and for sanctuary. Some of those experiences led you both to desire a certain privacy while remaining in the midst of a community, and here again Ruburt’s condition came into service, giving you a built-in reason for not going out into the world.

To some extent, then, the situation has served you both well for years. Ruburt finally became so depressed, however, about the symptoms that his work was involved—an intolerable situation, presenting an instant dilemma. Neither of you really miss not traveling, not going on tours, or not mixing with the world. You became embarrassed at Ruburt’s condition when others saw it, and you finally became alarmed when you wondered how much the body could put up with.

Above all, neither of you wanted the condition to worsen. That is where you drew the line. No condition is stable, but ever-changing. The entire system of beliefs was based upon, again, fear of the spontaneous self on both of your parts—fear that it would lead you where you did not want to go, as if you and it were separate things, or as if its intents were by nature so divorced from your own that you must set up barriers against its expression except in certain acceptable areas.

(11:30.) Ruburt became the spontaneous one to both of you, therefore the one who must use controls. You became the disciplined one to both of you, which meant of course that you also impeded your spontaneity. The mind cannot be fully used when it is used at the body’s expense. You have gone along with Ruburt’s improvements. You are beginning to actively encourage it. Your suggestion to Ruburt involving touch is highly important, and represents growing understanding on your part.

To some extent or another you each feel that the world is insane. With his literal mind Ruburt took protection against it, and found in your apartment and home what he hoped would be a safe sanctuary in monastic terms, where each of you could learn and grow. On purposes you both agreed. Carried to extremes, however, the condition became alarming. This is why improvements are occurring, and because you each are beginning to realize that there is a natural world out there for the world of nature to which both the soul and the body relate. Your protections have been against the social world, but in the extremes you end up losing an important part of the natural world as well.