“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The above isn’t an accurate definition of what the insight was about, and I do think it was a valid one; it may be as good as I could get it in discrete words, I told Jane after I’d read it to her. I was after an understanding on various levels of the fact that Jane had created something that certainly assumed equal billing with her other creative work—that the personality may have been quite aware that this would happen, and was willing in some sort of terms for the situation to exist for a number of years.

Now, to some extent, you and Ruburt felt enough the same way to make the analogy feasible, only Ruburt was the one who constructed the edifice that would protect his own abilities, first of all, and yours as well. Beliefs are the attendants—not strangers at all. With such an edifice, Ruburt can only use his abilities under certain conditions, and he imagines all kinds of impulses, situations, or whatever, that might steal them away, or steal away the time necessary to express them. Just like our millionaire, who everywhere imagines in the most innocent face the gluttonous look of the thief-to-be.

This is a partial answer to your question, voiced earlier. One thing does not depend upon the other in what I am about to say.

You have both built an excellent edifice of a different kind, in Ruburt’s books and mine, and in the sessions themselves, an edifice most admirable, and one that is composed of a kind of material that on its own possesses, among other characteristics, automatic self-protective ones. Not trusting that, however, or understanding this, Ruburt constructed a security system of his own, and with the best of misguided intentions.

Unfortunately, the system itself began to impede the very abilities it was meant to protect. Such abilities must have freedom, and insist upon it, and so the security system itself always felt in jeopardy. The body kept insisting that it was being put upon most severely. Our last session should also be read in context with this one.

The dilemma between expression and protection is a paramount one in your world, and people handle it differently. Ruburt began to feel hopeless about his condition, more and more dissatisfied with it, yet no longer certain that he could dispense with it even if he made his mind up to do so. And you often felt the same way.

You have seldom assured him that one day he would be walking normally, because, of course, you are also caught in the same dilemma. Often in your society you are afraid to hope for the best, because you have been taught so long that misfortune is in one way or another the natural course of events.