“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Shortly before the session began, Jane made a remark about her hands feeling better after her nap. For whatever reason, this seemed to trigger an insight on my part. I found it quite difficult to describe to Jane, for I always felt unspoken, unverbalized connotations in the background that, I thought, represented new ideas for both of us. My words made the insight sound more prosaic than it really was, I’m afraid. I tried writing it down so that I could read it to Jane: “Why did the personality adopt a course of action—being out of condition, say—that eventually came to assume such proportions in life that the focus upon it equaled, or even surpassed, the hours spent in the creative actions of writing that the personality said it wanted to do each day above everything else?”

(The above isn’t an accurate definition of what the insight was about, and I do think it was a valid one; it may be as good as I could get it in discrete words, I told Jane after I’d read it to her. I was after an understanding on various levels of the fact that Jane had created something that certainly assumed equal billing with her other creative work—that the personality may have been quite aware that this would happen, and was willing in some sort of terms for the situation to exist for a number of years.

(Jane only said that the insight, if accurate at all, was depressing, after I’d read it to her.)