“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Shortly before the session began, Jane made a remark about her hands feeling better after her nap. For whatever reason, this seemed to trigger an insight on my part. I found it quite difficult to describe to Jane, for I always felt unspoken, unverbalized connotations in the background that, I thought, represented new ideas for both of us. My words made the insight sound more prosaic than it really was, I’m afraid. I tried writing it down so that I could read it to Jane: “Why did the personality adopt a course of action—being out of condition, say—that eventually came to assume such proportions in life that the focus upon it equaled, or even surpassed, the hours spent in the creative actions of writing that the personality said it wanted to do each day above everything else?”

Now, to some extent, you and Ruburt felt enough the same way to make the analogy feasible, only Ruburt was the one who constructed the edifice that would protect his own abilities, first of all, and yours as well. Beliefs are the attendants—not strangers at all. With such an edifice, Ruburt can only use his abilities under certain conditions, and he imagines all kinds of impulses, situations, or whatever, that might steal them away, or steal away the time necessary to express them. Just like our millionaire, who everywhere imagines in the most innocent face the gluttonous look of the thief-to-be.

The dilemma between expression and protection is a paramount one in your world, and people handle it differently. Ruburt began to feel hopeless about his condition, more and more dissatisfied with it, yet no longer certain that he could dispense with it even if he made his mind up to do so. And you often felt the same way.