“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He tried out new motions, getting up and down from the stool, for example, without his table, and Saturday he reaped certain benefits, getting up surprisingly easy often, and gaining some new confidence.

Basically, Ruburt is verbal. Basically, he is highly affectionate. He believes in communicating through words, and he believes particularly in communicating “in a positive manner.” He does not believe in communicating disapproval or aggression. The reasons, as given many times, lie in his background, where it was not safe to express disapproval or aggression. He equates silence with disapproval. He does believe in communicating love verbally and through touch, whether or not sexual feelings specifically are involved.

In the past you felt that the touches of affection were ambiguous. You did not know what to do with them, or whether or not they should lead to a sexual encounter. Ruburt enjoys your combing his hair, because then you are touching him. The latest bedroom encounter took Ruburt by surprise. He was unhappy with some attempts he had made in the kitchen, and after some due consideration decided in this new mood of openness to discuss his feelings. He expected some understanding mixed perhaps with mild exasperation.

Suddenly, however, the wells of love within you opened, uncritically. He felt that, and was moved, as always. But for all your talk about “wanting to help him too,” you seldom take the initiative in that regard. This time you began to caress him. The response was immediate, spontaneous, and as complete as the moment and his physical condition allowed. Many people spend hours, now and then, caressing each other’s bodies, massaging each other, or simply relaxing in such a way, whether or not a sexual encounter occurs or is expected.

Ruburt needs approval. He needs the verbal expression of love and affection, not only in regard to his work, which he appreciates immensely, but in terms of his person. He used to try to trick you into such remarks. Sometimes he pleaded, and finally he decided they were simply against your nature, and so he must forget it.

You would go out of your way not to give such approval, by making a joke or whatever, because you did not believe that verbal communication should be used for such purposes. It made you feel inadequate, fearful of falling into cliches—or worse, trite expressions. It is good that naturally at least Ruburt is given to such expression, though that is not followed through as spontaneously as it could be. Ruburt, however, feels that it is not safe to express disapproval—the opposite of your habit—and so he feels threatened to some extent because your verbal expressions are so often of that nature, even if they are not directed to him, and he inhibits his own expression of any disapproval he feels, or frustrations. Lately he has made an effort to speak out.

Now: use of the chair is important because it does increase his mobility in this stage; but also because it exercises the knees while the rest of the body is in a comparatively normal position, with the back, shoulders, and head fairly upright. It also provides exercise to the feet without the weight imbalance that presently operates when he walks.

Activity in the important neck and shoulder areas has increased, so that the eyes have been highly variable in their behavior. Part of this becomes more noticeable as he looks upward more, say, in the cupboard, and as he changes the positions of his neck far more often.

One additional point: Ruburt can indeed recover. Not only that, but his recovery can be fairly easy, but your joint habits of pessimism color your attitudes. It is as if the team coach shouted “Try as hard as you can—but we will probably lose because that is the way it is.”

Now: you have begun to change that attitude. Simply keep in mind those significances. Notice how you are focusing. The bodybuilder does not think he is inhibiting his expression if he chooses to focus on his bodybuilding to the exclusion of distractions that may be quite real but detrimental to his purpose. Feelings of pessimism regarding Ruburt’s condition are detrimental. You both did very well on many occasions recently, so try to duplicate versions of the behavior I told you was helpful—and focus in those directions.