“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The points I have mentioned were highly effective, and they were the most easily and naturally accomplished. I will return to them in a short time. They led Ruburt into periods of time in which he enjoyed simple pursuits—the making of a meal, for example. The impetus further led him around the kitchen, usually in the chair, but often to take steps in a different way from one point to another. He was reacting to new stimuli, as is natural for the body. He stretched just about every muscle in a new way, and made new demands upon the body, that the body quite agreeably tried to meet.

In the past you felt that the touches of affection were ambiguous. You did not know what to do with them, or whether or not they should lead to a sexual encounter. Ruburt enjoys your combing his hair, because then you are touching him. The latest bedroom encounter took Ruburt by surprise. He was unhappy with some attempts he had made in the kitchen, and after some due consideration decided in this new mood of openness to discuss his feelings. He expected some understanding mixed perhaps with mild exasperation.

Suddenly, however, the wells of love within you opened, uncritically. He felt that, and was moved, as always. But for all your talk about “wanting to help him too,” you seldom take the initiative in that regard. This time you began to caress him. The response was immediate, spontaneous, and as complete as the moment and his physical condition allowed. Many people spend hours, now and then, caressing each other’s bodies, massaging each other, or simply relaxing in such a way, whether or not a sexual encounter occurs or is expected.

You would go out of your way not to give such approval, by making a joke or whatever, because you did not believe that verbal communication should be used for such purposes. It made you feel inadequate, fearful of falling into cliches—or worse, trite expressions. It is good that naturally at least Ruburt is given to such expression, though that is not followed through as spontaneously as it could be. Ruburt, however, feels that it is not safe to express disapproval—the opposite of your habit—and so he feels threatened to some extent because your verbal expressions are so often of that nature, even if they are not directed to him, and he inhibits his own expression of any disapproval he feels, or frustrations. Lately he has made an effort to speak out.

(Jane and Leonard worked out a price for the purchase of Leonard’s dining room set; we gave him an electric coffee pot also.)