“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

First of all, what have you done recently that was of benefit in your situation? Which of your efforts paid off, so to speak? The things that paid off, the things that were indeed quite effective, were these: again, your chair suggestion —remind me to return to that, for I have not mentioned some other reasons why I would like it stressed—it being the chair; the table in the kitchen, with all of the implications of additional cooking and involvement; your remark (last week) that Ruburt’s face looked much better than it did in those old photographs; your bringing in the flowers; your lovemaking, which I will discuss; and Ruburt’s point-of-power exercises. The pendulum work was important because of the togetherness it entailed, the joint determination it symbolizes, and Ruburt’s decision to uncover any or all fears rather than hiding them.

You would go out of your way not to give such approval, by making a joke or whatever, because you did not believe that verbal communication should be used for such purposes. It made you feel inadequate, fearful of falling into cliches—or worse, trite expressions. It is good that naturally at least Ruburt is given to such expression, though that is not followed through as spontaneously as it could be. Ruburt, however, feels that it is not safe to express disapproval—the opposite of your habit—and so he feels threatened to some extent because your verbal expressions are so often of that nature, even if they are not directed to him, and he inhibits his own expression of any disapproval he feels, or frustrations. Lately he has made an effort to speak out.

I would like both of you to read the chapter on affirmation (in Personal Reality), and to keep it in mind daily. You, incidentally, are afraid of expressing verbal states, et cetera, for fear of being made to feel a fool because your background with your father was so loaded with such connotations.