“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

His early background was relatively different: an invalid mother, no father, on welfare, et cetera, so his environment alone to some extent placed him in a different light in the eyes of his contemporaries. Added to this, from the beginning he did indeed –relatively, now—stand out. His unusual vitality, abilities, and intelligence were apparent, but they were not conventional abilities. The ability alone did not win friends and influence people.

Ruburt’s intelligence was not one to follow blindly, and so his marks were not outstanding. Even in school, both religion and science teachers found him troublesome in that regard. Writing poetry is hardly extremist behavior. Neither did the circumstances surrounding his college dismissal come about as the result of any extremist behavior.

By then, however, Ruburt began to fear that he was headed for trouble—that he was too impetuous, headstrong and impulsive. Leaving Walt for you on a moment’s notice, so to speak, was not extremist behavior either, for he had spent three years in that relationship, and gave it indeed all the trial period it deserved. And though he loved you, he did not “plunge” into marriage with you either. In not wanting children, a good amount of discipline was used by both of you—the kind of discipline that simply would not be possible for people “driven” by impulsive desires. Ruburt finally did put an end to his menstrual cycles a good deal earlier than might have happened otherwise. It is easy enough to say that that was extreme, but many women have hysterectomies for the same purpose.

I want to make these points because Ruburt’s physical condition in part was the result of his feelings that left alone, in good condition, he might resort to “extreme behavior.”

Now, what would that extreme behavior consist of “at its worst?” He felt that if he were a person given to extremes, then to use his abilities he must apply due discipline so that his head was not turned, so that he did not become a victim of fame, as many other writers and artists did—or so it seemed. It certainly should be obvious to Ruburt now that his personality contains some quite conservative aspects—a marriage going into two decades and more does not exactly make one worry about promiscuity. So many old fears were based upon misconceptions on the part of the personality that in younger years found itself to be quite different than its contemporaries, and gradually began to set up defenses against them.

When the psychic development began, Ruburt was triumphant, for his abilities were flowering, and intuitively he sensed that direction, but the part of him that also dealt with the world was somewhat appalled, for again, such behavior was not conventional, and it was not particularly “the way to make friends and influence people.”

In the past, Ruburt didn’t realize fully that his nature was both flamboyant and conservative—that his nature was protected by a natural inner caution that would make the path for his flamboyancy clear. He did not need disciplinary methods that led to physical restrictions of the body.

The feelings of trust are definitely taking hold. There will be no problem with the walking, and in a short time these complete processes will be at a point where he will consistently want to do more walking on a day-by-day basis. Thus far, his impulses have been correct, and forcing the walking at certain times would not be advantageous.

The business decision today is in its way an example not only of Framework 2, but of Ruburt’s growing trust in himself, and in his willingness to act on his own behalf.

(I asked Seth for his interpretation of my dream on Sunday morning, June 25, in which I was highly upset to see my father careening backward in a truck, down Pinnacle Road. A copy of Seth’s comments is attached to the dream.)

I am letting Ruburt handle that for his own experience—not that I do not tip the scales now and then at other levels.