“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Much has taken place since then. Jane has withdrawn Emir from consideration at Prentice-Hall, and in back of that decision lies a story too complicated to recite in detail here. Tam’s letter of today catalyzed her action, however, when he told her that Prentice-Hall had decided to publish Emir through the children’s department. Jane feared the book, which she regards as the beginning of Oversoul Seven, would be lost in a tiny printing. The advance would also be very low.

By then, however, Ruburt began to fear that he was headed for trouble—that he was too impetuous, headstrong and impulsive. Leaving Walt for you on a moment’s notice, so to speak, was not extremist behavior either, for he had spent three years in that relationship, and gave it indeed all the trial period it deserved. And though he loved you, he did not “plunge” into marriage with you either. In not wanting children, a good amount of discipline was used by both of you—the kind of discipline that simply would not be possible for people “driven” by impulsive desires. Ruburt finally did put an end to his menstrual cycles a good deal earlier than might have happened otherwise. It is easy enough to say that that was extreme, but many women have hysterectomies for the same purpose.

Now, what would that extreme behavior consist of “at its worst?” He felt that if he were a person given to extremes, then to use his abilities he must apply due discipline so that his head was not turned, so that he did not become a victim of fame, as many other writers and artists did—or so it seemed. It certainly should be obvious to Ruburt now that his personality contains some quite conservative aspects—a marriage going into two decades and more does not exactly make one worry about promiscuity. So many old fears were based upon misconceptions on the part of the personality that in younger years found itself to be quite different than its contemporaries, and gradually began to set up defenses against them.

He interpreted it thusly. It was a statement of fear, and fear’s resolution. Your father was the symbol of yourself. You were afraid that you were doing everything backward—specifically with “Unknown” Reality, and that the affair would be a disaster—or the car would crash.

Mixed into this were feelings about your age, and that you were spending too much time on the project. Instead, you discover the car does not crash—and not only that, but your father is much more vigorous at the end of the dream than he was in the beginning. You still had not quite recovered from your fear, however. Your father was used as the main character, of course, because he is referred to in your notes, because you planned photographs of him in the beginning, and because in the dream he represented the disapproving portions of your own personality.

The dream was meant to do two things: point out the fears that were still present, and to show you that though present, they were groundless. The car, which was the vehicle of expression, would not crash. It was not going backward. The backward motion referred to time, and how much time you felt existed between the book’s dictation and the delivery of Volume 2.