“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(A few days ago I wrote out a “new manifesto” of beliefs for Jane and me, to replace the suggestions she’s been using in the morning after breakfast. She likes them better, she said, and so do I; at this time they seem to fit our situation. I wrote them because I’ve been becoming increasingly concerned about the slowness of her progress—or, to put it another way, because I felt that beliefs must still be operating in the background to account for the slowness of her progress. I also talked about resuming use of the pendulum to see what beliefs of a negative sort were still active there.

(No session was held on Monday night. Instead, on Monday and Tuesday nights Jane and I were interviewed—on tape—by Jim Poett of the New York City Village Voice. Seth spoke at the end of last night’s final interview, and did very well as usual. JP is to send us a transcript of the session, as well as an advance copy of his interview..

(I missed having Monday’s session delayed, since I had a couple of questions for Seth. They represented my recent, and growing, concerns about Jane’s progress. I’ve found myself waking up early in the morning, stewing about her condition; usually I get up and eat breakfast alone, then call Jane by ten AM. I’ve noticed that the worry interferes with my appetite—something most unusual.

(My questions were, roughly: 1. What beliefs might still be operating behind the scenes, still interfering with Jane’s recovery? 2. What about her lack of activity walking?

(Before the session I explained that I didn’t think feelings of hopelessness had much to do with it, since if the background fears were dispensed with the body would automatically right itself, and those feelings would vanish. I asked Jane if she had given up using the typing table as a help in walking, and if so, why? She too expressed concern over the points mentioned here. At the same time, she said she’d felt pretty good today. I said I needed reinforcement myself over my fears about her condition, and she answered that she might have to initiate a program of walking with the table, soon, if she didn’t spontaneously start doing more walking.

(I would add that much of my present concern seemed to have been brought to a conscious focus by an even that took place last Saturday evening, when Jane spontaneiously asked the Bumbalos over for a drink. She’s written her own account of the event, so I’ll just note here that at the end of the visit, she spontaneously felt like standing up and walking normally—an impulse that she hasn’t been aware of for a number of years, but is so normal to most people.)

(10:25 PM. This actually represented the end of the session. It was one of the most difficult sessions I ever recorded; I told Jane that by its end I was barely able to write Seth’s words legibly. In spite of the very reasonable tone of the material in it, to me it seemed to fly in the face of all of the accumulated fears that had been bugging me, and Jane also, I thought. As soon as Seth mentioned her feelings of inferiority at the beginning of the session, it was all downhill for me; I thought we’d done a reasonable job on encountering those with our pendulum work, but it seemed that they were still as present and active as ever. Nor could I take any comfort from Seth’s remarks about encountering strangers, or even friends, I said, since it seemed that whenever any outsider was present we were both constantly worrying about whether they would notice Jane’s condition, whether she ever got on her feet, and so forth, until it seemed that those episodes were hardly worthwhile. Jim Poett told us that the Voice will send a photographer up for pictures, so I’d figured we’d spend time worrying about that, too.

(No need to go on with the barrage of negative things I said after the session, I suppose. Naturally my feelings of being ashamed at the whole deal stemmed from my much deeper fright at the situation, and my growing fears that we weren’t getting far in coping with the situation. As I see it, our only hope lies in getting our minds off the whole thing, as happened last Saturday night. Jane received from Oversoul Seven last February 20th a page of material about techniques, methods, and concentrating on doing “what’s right,” that I think is the best information we could possibly get, no matter what the source. It’s already helped me in my painting. Each of us has a copy on our workroom wall. If we apply what it says, it will be our salvation.

(Note: The next day, even though she’s mad at me, Jane walked a few steps with the table on two occasions, and did very well.)