“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I missed having Monday’s session delayed, since I had a couple of questions for Seth. They represented my recent, and growing, concerns about Jane’s progress. I’ve found myself waking up early in the morning, stewing about her condition; usually I get up and eat breakfast alone, then call Jane by ten AM. I’ve noticed that the worry interferes with my appetite—something most unusual.

(Before the session I explained that I didn’t think feelings of hopelessness had much to do with it, since if the background fears were dispensed with the body would automatically right itself, and those feelings would vanish. I asked Jane if she had given up using the typing table as a help in walking, and if so, why? She too expressed concern over the points mentioned here. At the same time, she said she’d felt pretty good today. I said I needed reinforcement myself over my fears about her condition, and she answered that she might have to initiate a program of walking with the table, soon, if she didn’t spontaneously start doing more walking.

When Ruburt does not see people, his reasons are sometimes much like yours, topside. In effect, of course, he becomes afraid to see people. He sees himself at such times in an inferior physical situation, so that it seems to him that physically “he is not a good specimen,” but obviously flawed. So it seems to him that he does not see people because he is ashamed of his physical condition.

When no effort is made now and then to encounter strangers, or guests of that nature, in any position of relative authority, then Ruburt does not question his feelings or beliefs directly. The fact is of course that the feelings existed before the physical condition.

(10:25 PM. This actually represented the end of the session. It was one of the most difficult sessions I ever recorded; I told Jane that by its end I was barely able to write Seth’s words legibly. In spite of the very reasonable tone of the material in it, to me it seemed to fly in the face of all of the accumulated fears that had been bugging me, and Jane also, I thought. As soon as Seth mentioned her feelings of inferiority at the beginning of the session, it was all downhill for me; I thought we’d done a reasonable job on encountering those with our pendulum work, but it seemed that they were still as present and active as ever. Nor could I take any comfort from Seth’s remarks about encountering strangers, or even friends, I said, since it seemed that whenever any outsider was present we were both constantly worrying about whether they would notice Jane’s condition, whether she ever got on her feet, and so forth, until it seemed that those episodes were hardly worthwhile. Jim Poett told us that the Voice will send a photographer up for pictures, so I’d figured we’d spend time worrying about that, too.