“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Today Jane heard from Tam that Prentice-Hall had signed a contract with a Dutch publisher for a translation of Seth Speaks into that language. The news was a complete surprise to us. Because of paper problems, costs, et cetera, the edition is to be in two volumes, and there’s a two-year time limit. Tam told Jane that at our request he’d checked with John Nelson, who in turn had checked the contract with the Swiss publisher, to the effect that the German-language translation of Seth Speaks is definitely not to be cut, as that particular publisher had wanted to do a couple of years ago. So the two foreign-language editions of that book are certainly good news —the kind that Seth wants Jane to list daily, as he suggested she do. But the Dutch language? It had never even remotely occurred to us.

I mentioned before that some people court exciting and dangerous sports, living quite purposefully on the edge of death, and choosing to taste life spiced exotically by the ever-present sprinkling of ashes. Others might say that such behavior is neurotic, but in larger terms such a phrase is meaningless. In the same way, however, some people do live their lives so that its light is experienced in contrast to death in a different fashion—so that the rest of the years’ experiences are seasoned by that earlier taste of death.

(9:49.) In a way they will feel special—saved from the “clutches of death.” In perhaps a manner that appears strange, they will experience a new sense of their own validity, for if they were saved from death, then something—if only the fates—must have found them worthy. This does not mean that they will not feel guilty also at their good fortune, but it does mean that their lives will for them have a special brilliance and a contrast, in whose light they will experience all the other events of their years.

The father in many ways wanted to save face, so that his death should indeed appear accidental, and the result of someone else’s fault beside his own. He did not want to live into an old age—but more than that, life had lost its flavor for him. He had sired his children, loved as well as he could, done his job—but there was no contemplative life to look forward to, no greater love than the one with his wife—and that love while conventionally sound enough, did not content him.

He was looking for someone like the young boy, someone whose actions would result in his death, but in a death without malice, a death that would in its way serve an important purpose. For the “accident” saved the young man’s life, and this was our father’s final gift to the world. The boy was inclined toward suicide. He would not have taken anyone with him. He wanted to die, but also in an indirect fashion, in that he could not consciously shoot himself, while he could kill himself in an event that seemed to be accidental.

The boy was filled with guilt, but a guilt that had no name, no label—a psychological guilt that was the result of his upbringing, and that perhaps involved the existence of a brother. He felt inferior to a sometimes terrifying degree.

He had nearly killed himself before in the same fashion, and also when not drinking. The accident gives him a specific event upon which to lay his guilt, but coming so close to death, his own instincts for life were rearoused, so that he is literally given a second chance.

There is nothing in man’s nature that makes such behavior essential. A true realistic exploration of the nature of experience would automatically study that kind of emotional interrelationship, but while your society delineates the inner particles of matter, it avoids the inner psychological “particles” that form the most intimate experiences of your lives.

(10:15. Jane’s delivery had been fast and sure throughout, the material unexpected but excellent. It would be most interesting, I told Jane, if eventually we could manage to check out some of Seth’s material on the surviving members of the family discussed this evening—after the wounds had healed, and provided any of them would be willing to talk about what had happened. Personally, I’d not try it for fear of prying, nor do I think Jane would.

Apropos of your remarks: you should do your work, as you used the term, first of all because you both want to do it. As you know, in a fashion you are appealing to portions of peoples’ minds that exist “beneath” the conventionalized version of consciousness that they take for granted. The words are perceived consciously, but the concepts run directly counter to many usual beliefs—not just scientific ones, but to the beliefs that underlie the accepted establishment of the world.

Our work, in those terms, may have turned into a career, but not a career that you can equate with others. You are writing new rules. You are not good lawyers, or physicians, or whatever. You purposefully, while speaking to your times, speak to those beyond your times and to the future. Instead of children you send ideas into the future.

Your discussion at break was beneficial—for both of you expressed feelings, and fears. Fears should not be concentrated upon, or anger, but they should be expressed. Not enough attention has been given by Ruburt to his feelings in his daily records.