“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Yesterday had been a different story, though. While at the bank yesterday noon I met Wanda, a nurse who worked in the office of a doctor I’d seen some years ago for an ear problem. Since I’d been thinking of Wanda rather strongly last week, wondering whether the doctor in question could help Jane and her eye condition, I took our meeting as a clear case of the workings of Framework 2. On impulse I asked Wanda if she could arrange an appointment for Jane, and was surprised to hear that it could be set up for next Monday. Wanda was to call that afternoon and give Jane a time.

(Driving home, I had misgivings about my actions in making the appointment without consulting Jane, but told myself I trusted my impulse and the working of Framework 2. I also felt that Jane would never see a doctor on her own. I was very concerned about her condition, even though she’d recently embarked on a course of exercises and changing beliefs that was evidently beginning to help her. I thought Jane would be able to see the doctor and do her own thing without conflict. Jane, however, reacted strongly when I told her about the appointment. “How could you?—you’ve just destroyed all the confidence I’ve managed to build up in the last few days.” She ended up in tears, and I felt that I’d made a rather considerable error.

(Note: Strange to say, but at the same time I felt that Jane was more concerned about trying to make it into the doctor’s office—“Humiliating myself before all those people” —than she was about her symptoms themselves.

(When Wanda called, however, we learned that her doctor wasn’t the kind of specialist Jane should see after all, so the situation was resolved seemingly without effort on our parts. Wanda recommended other doctors. We ended up with Jane more or less on a two-week test period to see if she could get results on her own—although in the light of tonight’s session I doubt if the “deadline” matters. I don’t envision her seeing a doctor at this time, now. Perhaps the session made me feel even more discouraged—this has happened before—or the evident errors in living on our parts that seemingly have been responsible for the whole situation over the years, certainly seemed beyond the reach of any medical treatment. We’ll see what develops.

Framework 2 was involved, and so was the chair and so was Frank’s return. In the back of your mind you questioned whether giving him a new, more comfortable chair to work in was or was not a smart thing to do: would it encourage him to retreat to his room and his writing, and simply serve to intensify old conditions? Frank, who was away, had returned, and would visit that day. Your fears, brought to the forefront by the Gallagher episode the week earlier, again surfaced with the event of the chair and Frank’s return. Would Ruburt then simply continue seeing Frank now, and the old, it seemed useless, rituals go on?

Furthermore, in the back of your mind, and somewhat at least as a result of the Gallaghers’ well-meaning query, you also wondered if you were doing your duty should you not insist that Ruburt receive conventional but definite help? Better that this be set up, it seemed immediately, so that Frank was met with the accomplished fact of a set appointment.

You had indeed thought of Wanda somewhat earlier, quite aware of course of her employer. The episode jelled, however, and at lunch time, when the chair had already been delivered and was an accomplished fact also. Were you just making it more comfortable for Ruburt to continue in old ways?

That fear led you to make, during your short drive, a quick and quite a desperate entreaty into Framework 2. Wanda had several errands, the bank merely one, and it was her lunch hour. She thought of making the bank trip after lunch—that is, after eating—and instead changed her mind so that you met. She never forgot the help you two gave her one night, when she was frightened, and that connects you to her in Framework 2.

You were unsure of yourself, however. Your fear was definite, and your uncertainty was next. You were quite aware of the fact, unconsciously, that Wanda’s employer was in fact not going to work out. He deals with mechanics. He deals with them well. You also wanted Ruburt to be aware of your concern, hoping that the concern would serve to accelerate his own determination and ability, and to trigger his resources so that a medical visit would not indeed be necessary.

You felt guilty about the chair—(amused:) not that roller skates would have been a more suitable present. Wanda made sure you could have an appointment if you wanted it. This was arranged through ways impossible to tally, all taking place in Framework 2, with the juggling of appointments days earlier, involving appointments made and not made.

You pulled from Framework 2 exactly what you wanted. Wanda also wanted to repay your old kindness. Frank, who was expected at noon, did not come until later, because unconsciously he was also aware that something of that nature was occurring. He brought you gifts that were replicas of ancient power sources.

Ruburt knew that spontaneity was the basis of his creativity, and of anyone else’s. To that extent you disapproved of it. You felt it could be easily overdone, as say Bill Macdonnel or Van Gogh. Ruburt feared that spontaneity had to be tempered, because spontaneity meant unbridled, rampant, uncontrolled impulse. That belief is a basic one in your society—your religions and your sciences. So in feeling it you were both after all quite conventional.

The effects added to the disapproval, for while one purpose was achieved, his stance and walking were affected. Lately he has realized that spontaneity cannot be treated in such a manner, and that he has given up too much. But your joint disapproval was still there. It makes you uncertain of your abilities, erodes your self-confidence, and prevents you from appreciating your accomplishments—for you feel you must in some way disapprove of them. It prevents you from seeing your individual selves as they are.