“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane and I have been very upset over the holidays about her eye condition, and my chest disturbances. Both have been very worrisome. I even talked about seeing a doctor on both counts. Our original understanding was that the eye condition would pass rather quickly once Jane began to loosen up—but now it appears to be another fixed state in the general scheme of our lives. We’ve had a number of discussions about the whole business, and what we can do about any of it. I’m afraid we felt little to cheer about. We planned for a session last night but it didn’t develop.

(I was also puzzled about our problems because, as I told Jane before the session, I couldn’t see where as individuals we were doing anything so terribly wrong. I added that I wasn’t trying to shift blame outside of ourselves—but still, why the extreme reactions we felt? I used the front page of the newspaper as an analogy, saying that it exhibited far worse behavior and beliefs than any we were responsible for, yet the news and world events seemed to be made by individuals who behaved much more badly than we did, and that further the people involved seemed not to suffer any consequences of note, beyond say losing a job or an election, etc. There was much more, which need not be repeated here. I concluded by saying that I did think we had plenty of insight into our own actions—far more than most people did —so why the extreme reactions?)

Physical exercise becomes the area between, taking you from both your painting and writing, and furthermore is a reminder, an angry one, that the physical working area—the chores—are largely yours to do.

Ruburt’s creative work is highly spontaneous. It comes in bursts, in its own way outside of time. He is very impatient at the work involved in inserting it into time. The misunderstandings—and this has been covered—lead to overreactions on both of your parts, and lead both of you to misinterpret your contributions, because initially you do not approve of yourselves.

You expect yourselves to be different people than you are—not appreciating at all the abilities and characteristics that you do possess, but forever weighing them against other abilities and characteristics that you have told yourselves you should possess.

These books are more than the work of one personality. They cannot be anchored to conventional ideas of time. In a strange fashion, they go faster than your lives, so physically you do have “catch-up time.”

Give me a moment.... You have, far more than you realize, utilized our ideas in your daily lives, both to insure financial comfort—but more, to achieve the satisfaction that you are indeed reaching others, helping to change their lives for the better. You have the knowledge that many do not possess—that you are indeed affecting your times.

Because you have that knowledge, you do not realize the frustration felt by those whose words have little if any—overall, now—impact, practically speaking. Your mental and emotional horizons have broadened, so that you now take for granted a mental world that others do indeed, and properly, look upon with wonder.

When you do, however, you see results. You pick up each other’s negative moods, however, so you ride emotional storms. Ruburt does not feel he can properly see his way out. Your feelings of spontaneity and discipline go back and forth. Ruburt should stop telling himself that he does not want to see people. He may not want to have visitors at times. On other occasions he enjoys spontaneous encounters. The eye problem has to do, physically, with his present stance—the lack of balance between the two sides of his body, causing pressure on one side of the jaw, and the ear canal, which further aggravates the fullness in the sinus, hence affecting the eyes.

All of Ruburt’s concerns about that book have to do with his impatience in time terms. That has to do with his misunderstanding for he has not seen, really, that he is producing work for two personalities that cannot be squeezed into conventional publishing rhythms.