“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

By yesterday several new and significant changes appeared. Two or three times Ruburt found himself getting up, not only easier but easily to a considerably higher position. Finally he felt the impulse to walk without the table, used the plunger as an aid, and did not need to put his weight upon it. That meant that at that point newly activated portions of muscles and joints were working more or less in unison. He had to bend over, but the elasticized back was simply holding itself in abeyance. The muscles in the high portions of the legs, in the back, are the ones that need to be strengthened to unite the body in the flexibility that various portions of it are achieving.

Until evening everything went well. Your pendulum exercises were most beneficial. They open up dialogues between various portions of the self, and of course bring these to the surface, amplified for your conscious attention. Ruburt was aware of rousing energy, then, as conflicts were aired. The pendulum also serves of course as a dialogue between the two of you at various levels, conscious and unconscious. You were both pleased when Ruburt walked from the bathroom to the table with his plunger. So what went wrong? It is important that you understand.

Because of your fears, going out has become an issue. Not walking properly is the issue—otherwise there would be no problem. You were pleased when Ruburt walked across the floor with his plunger, without the table, yet both of you expected him to walk down steps, small as they are, and walk around the car in the garage without his table, or there is something wrong. You expect different kinds of behavior in the house and in the garage.

Ruburt does the steps, something he does not do inside—a change for the body, and a good one—but in his position an exercise in itself. Both of you even refuse to think of using the table in the garage, so Ruburt forces his body into the most unnatural of positions so that he can lean upon the car. Those positions would aggravate anyone. He made it to the car, knowing that on the other occasions that his body had so protested he had had difficulty. He used his resources to try to change the situation. He used suggestion. He tried to concentrate upon the ride.

Not only then do you have a manufactured crisis of one minor variety or another, but Ruburt is expected or expects his body to execute the steps, walk without the table or any other aid, and behave entirely differently, and of course better, than he does inside the house. Neither of you would even think of a chair in the garage; any aid would be a copout. There are some days when his body can perform in that regard, and some days when it cannot at this point.

His shoulders and arms are beginning to release considerably. He could consciously move his shoulder blades in the back for the first time this evening, and the arms are very important in bodily balance. He was beginning to try to walk without the table for small periods—commendable in the house, but expected, no matter what, in the garage.

Self-disapproval always takes resistance for granted, and sees it at every turn, therefore of course leading to battles of one kind-or another. I do not blame you for wishing that Ruburt’s table were not necessary, but he is showing signs that he will be able to dispense with it. I do not blame you for wishing he did not need a stool at the sink, but that area has no conflict now, and Thursday he had an impulse to do the dishes without it. Yet, aids in the garage also were considered copouts.