“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

By yesterday several new and significant changes appeared. Two or three times Ruburt found himself getting up, not only easier but easily to a considerably higher position. Finally he felt the impulse to walk without the table, used the plunger as an aid, and did not need to put his weight upon it. That meant that at that point newly activated portions of muscles and joints were working more or less in unison. He had to bend over, but the elasticized back was simply holding itself in abeyance. The muscles in the high portions of the legs, in the back, are the ones that need to be strengthened to unite the body in the flexibility that various portions of it are achieving.

The important head and neck areas are definitely healing themselves, and Ruburt is aware of those sensations. That improvement is also apparent in his rune exercises.

Until evening everything went well. Your pendulum exercises were most beneficial. They open up dialogues between various portions of the self, and of course bring these to the surface, amplified for your conscious attention. Ruburt was aware of rousing energy, then, as conflicts were aired. The pendulum also serves of course as a dialogue between the two of you at various levels, conscious and unconscious. You were both pleased when Ruburt walked from the bathroom to the table with his plunger. So what went wrong? It is important that you understand.

Ruburt felt like seeing company—a good sign. You encouraged him in that respect, but not too actively. You went along, however. When Ruburt could not reach O’Neill’s, and pleased by his reactions during the day, you acted on impulse—a good sign, and suggested you both go for a ride. Up to here, all is well.

Ruburt in the meantime had felt his body relaxing. He wanted to go out in order to show that his attitude had changed. And to please you. You said “Don’t go out because you think you should.” He felt like crying all of a sudden, and he mentioned that. He went to the bathroom, and as he did he knew at once that his bodily situation had changed. At that point he immediately took it for granted, with a rush of self-disapproval, that this was a sign that he had learned nothing, and that his body was objecting to the whole idea of going out, and therefore challenging him—in other words, that his negative beliefs had risen to challenge new healthier attitudes.

It was obvious in the bathroom that his legs, which had been stable for several days, and showing improvements, were now trembling and insecure, but he interpreted that bodily message with self-disapproval, at the end of the hallway he had to sit down. You interpreted his situation precisely as he did, and for the same reasons, so of course there was no answer for this manufactured crisis, except that he ignore these bodily messages and act in spite of them.

He made a half-hearted attempt to get out of it. You then made a remark, voicing his own fears as well as your own, saying that you would not let him get away with it, meaning you would not let him get away with not going out as a pattern. So you were both in the middle of a crisis. What happened physically was this. Ruburt’s body had extended itself on several occasions that day, stretching and using new postures, giving him the impulses toward further activity, exercising itself through that small-enough but important walk. It then relaxed.

(10:02.) Ruburt went out to his room. The phone rang. Ruburt was given what he wanted—the psychological stimulation of a friend, who was all ready to visit you because Ruburt’s message had gotten through. The psychological activity would have allowed the body to continue its process. The impulse had been a good one, to have company. Even then Ruburt was tempted to have Wade come, but his own disapproval, and yours, made it obvious that to do so would certainly be a copout. His body was not ready.

Because of your fears, going out has become an issue. Not walking properly is the issue—otherwise there would be no problem. You were pleased when Ruburt walked across the floor with his plunger, without the table, yet both of you expected him to walk down steps, small as they are, and walk around the car in the garage without his table, or there is something wrong. You expect different kinds of behavior in the house and in the garage.

Ruburt does the steps, something he does not do inside—a change for the body, and a good one—but in his position an exercise in itself. Both of you even refuse to think of using the table in the garage, so Ruburt forces his body into the most unnatural of positions so that he can lean upon the car. Those positions would aggravate anyone. He made it to the car, knowing that on the other occasions that his body had so protested he had had difficulty. He used his resources to try to change the situation. He used suggestion. He tried to concentrate upon the ride.

On your return, considering the situation, he gallantly tried to gather his resources, and made it halfway around the car before the protesting muscles had their say. The newly activated areas of the day repeated that they were being overworked, and they pulled other muscles with them. You, of course, took it for granted as he did that this was an excellent example of the negative or still ignorant portions of the personality coming to the front, and this is what was responsible for your own somewhat ungallant behavior.

You both did very well up until that point last evening, and afterward Ruburt in particular did well, though both of you managed to avoid pitfalls that might otherwise have occurred. When you left yourselves alone, as you did generally speaking, during the week, you not only attained some peace of mind, but definite improvements in those areas that concerned you both. Ruburt’s eyes have been improving, as his typing Emir shows. Not only did he see better, but his hand and eye coordination considerably increased, as did the flexibility of his fingers. During your ride, he noticed that his vision then was a good deal better.

Not only then do you have a manufactured crisis of one minor variety or another, but Ruburt is expected or expects his body to execute the steps, walk without the table or any other aid, and behave entirely differently, and of course better, than he does inside the house. Neither of you would even think of a chair in the garage; any aid would be a copout. There are some days when his body can perform in that regard, and some days when it cannot at this point.

His shoulders and arms are beginning to release considerably. He could consciously move his shoulder blades in the back for the first time this evening, and the arms are very important in bodily balance. He was beginning to try to walk without the table for small periods—commendable in the house, but expected, no matter what, in the garage.

When Ruburt does not go out, however, it is never a simple issue of the body’s condition at any given time, but a moral dilemma in which, basically you see, you are misinterpreting events. Ruburt felt like having company. Your own improved mental habits of the week, your pendulum work and his own improvements, released energy that under those conditions sought release—and his impulse showed him in what direction.

His bathroom behavior is not only good, but even with the various rhythms mentioned, has shown improvement. His grip is stronger. Last night’s experience could, and in the past would, have severely set you back, because then your self-disapproval simply would have been deepened. You are therefore to understand what I am saying, and not to further disapprove of yourselves or your reactions, but to be pleased with your additional knowledge—for that will enable you to look at events with clearer eyes.