“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Since our last session, you both made considerable efforts, so that you momentarily managed to suspend self-disapproval for some periods of time. As far as Ruburt’s physical condition is concerned this was the pattern, as once or twice I believe he mentioned, by the way. I want it understood that I am not exaggerating. However, the pattern was thusly: in rhythmic patterns of activity, the entire body, part by part, stretched itself from head to toe. This was done in the body’s own order. It was obvious to both of you, I believe, that at times Ruburt would stand a good deal taller. On some of those occasions all of the areas from the hips upward were stretching, while the legs would more or less be bent in the usual fashion. On other occasions the areas from the hips downward would stretch considerably, with much new activity in the knee joints and the ankles.

On many of those occasions Ruburt’s back would bend over in the usual fashion as the knees continued their activity, because that was necessary as the adjustments at that time were made. The body could not, standing, stretch that fully all together and maintain balance, because part of the newly stretched muscles are not as yet that strong, where other portions that he has used are.

By yesterday several new and significant changes appeared. Two or three times Ruburt found himself getting up, not only easier but easily to a considerably higher position. Finally he felt the impulse to walk without the table, used the plunger as an aid, and did not need to put his weight upon it. That meant that at that point newly activated portions of muscles and joints were working more or less in unison. He had to bend over, but the elasticized back was simply holding itself in abeyance. The muscles in the high portions of the legs, in the back, are the ones that need to be strengthened to unite the body in the flexibility that various portions of it are achieving.

Ruburt in the meantime had felt his body relaxing. He wanted to go out in order to show that his attitude had changed. And to please you. You said “Don’t go out because you think you should.” He felt like crying all of a sudden, and he mentioned that. He went to the bathroom, and as he did he knew at once that his bodily situation had changed. At that point he immediately took it for granted, with a rush of self-disapproval, that this was a sign that he had learned nothing, and that his body was objecting to the whole idea of going out, and therefore challenging him—in other words, that his negative beliefs had risen to challenge new healthier attitudes.

It was obvious in the bathroom that his legs, which had been stable for several days, and showing improvements, were now trembling and insecure, but he interpreted that bodily message with self-disapproval, at the end of the hallway he had to sit down. You interpreted his situation precisely as he did, and for the same reasons, so of course there was no answer for this manufactured crisis, except that he ignore these bodily messages and act in spite of them.

He made a half-hearted attempt to get out of it. You then made a remark, voicing his own fears as well as your own, saying that you would not let him get away with it, meaning you would not let him get away with not going out as a pattern. So you were both in the middle of a crisis. What happened physically was this. Ruburt’s body had extended itself on several occasions that day, stretching and using new postures, giving him the impulses toward further activity, exercising itself through that small-enough but important walk. It then relaxed.

(10:02.) Ruburt went out to his room. The phone rang. Ruburt was given what he wanted—the psychological stimulation of a friend, who was all ready to visit you because Ruburt’s message had gotten through. The psychological activity would have allowed the body to continue its process. The impulse had been a good one, to have company. Even then Ruburt was tempted to have Wade come, but his own disapproval, and yours, made it obvious that to do so would certainly be a copout. His body was not ready.

Ruburt does the steps, something he does not do inside—a change for the body, and a good one—but in his position an exercise in itself. Both of you even refuse to think of using the table in the garage, so Ruburt forces his body into the most unnatural of positions so that he can lean upon the car. Those positions would aggravate anyone. He made it to the car, knowing that on the other occasions that his body had so protested he had had difficulty. He used his resources to try to change the situation. He used suggestion. He tried to concentrate upon the ride.

On your return, considering the situation, he gallantly tried to gather his resources, and made it halfway around the car before the protesting muscles had their say. The newly activated areas of the day repeated that they were being overworked, and they pulled other muscles with them. You, of course, took it for granted as he did that this was an excellent example of the negative or still ignorant portions of the personality coming to the front, and this is what was responsible for your own somewhat ungallant behavior.

Ruburt’s body earlier signaled its desire to move, its readiness. He obeyed the impulse, which was excellent. The other bodily messages were as valid, and there was no need to take it for granted, as both of you did, that some element in Ruburt’s personality was rebelliously and purposefully sabotaging you at that time.

You both did very well up until that point last evening, and afterward Ruburt in particular did well, though both of you managed to avoid pitfalls that might otherwise have occurred. When you left yourselves alone, as you did generally speaking, during the week, you not only attained some peace of mind, but definite improvements in those areas that concerned you both. Ruburt’s eyes have been improving, as his typing Emir shows. Not only did he see better, but his hand and eye coordination considerably increased, as did the flexibility of his fingers. During your ride, he noticed that his vision then was a good deal better.

I am dealing with probabilities—but I do not believe it would have been out at all yet, and your own attitudes would have made that an even more regrettable situation. There was nothing held back in that regard. Ruburt’s attitudes, now, were known to you, as were your own. Let yourselves be for a while. Ruburt will feel like going out. There is nothing about outside, in those terms, that frightens him—that is from the house into the garage, symbolically speaking. There were times in the poor weather, when physically he felt like going out. When you make an issue, however, you manufacture a crisis.

Not only then do you have a manufactured crisis of one minor variety or another, but Ruburt is expected or expects his body to execute the steps, walk without the table or any other aid, and behave entirely differently, and of course better, than he does inside the house. Neither of you would even think of a chair in the garage; any aid would be a copout. There are some days when his body can perform in that regard, and some days when it cannot at this point.

His shoulders and arms are beginning to release considerably. He could consciously move his shoulder blades in the back for the first time this evening, and the arms are very important in bodily balance. He was beginning to try to walk without the table for small periods—commendable in the house, but expected, no matter what, in the garage.

On another occasion, he might have wanted to go out, to take a drive; and the impulse will also be the result of the body’s knowledge that the time is right. He was relieved during your bad weather because the artificial crisis was lessened. You have made gains, and important ones. Ruburt’s body messages should be heeded. He heeds them if they follow your ideas of improvements. If not, you both take it for granted that the body is not in the middle of a process, but that some immediate challenge exists.

Self-disapproval always takes resistance for granted, and sees it at every turn, therefore of course leading to battles of one kind-or another. I do not blame you for wishing that Ruburt’s table were not necessary, but he is showing signs that he will be able to dispense with it. I do not blame you for wishing he did not need a stool at the sink, but that area has no conflict now, and Thursday he had an impulse to do the dishes without it. Yet, aids in the garage also were considered copouts.