“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Since our last session, you both made considerable efforts, so that you momentarily managed to suspend self-disapproval for some periods of time. As far as Ruburt’s physical condition is concerned this was the pattern, as once or twice I believe he mentioned, by the way. I want it understood that I am not exaggerating. However, the pattern was thusly: in rhythmic patterns of activity, the entire body, part by part, stretched itself from head to toe. This was done in the body’s own order. It was obvious to both of you, I believe, that at times Ruburt would stand a good deal taller. On some of those occasions all of the areas from the hips upward were stretching, while the legs would more or less be bent in the usual fashion. On other occasions the areas from the hips downward would stretch considerably, with much new activity in the knee joints and the ankles.

On many of those occasions Ruburt’s back would bend over in the usual fashion as the knees continued their activity, because that was necessary as the adjustments at that time were made. The body could not, standing, stretch that fully all together and maintain balance, because part of the newly stretched muscles are not as yet that strong, where other portions that he has used are.

By yesterday several new and significant changes appeared. Two or three times Ruburt found himself getting up, not only easier but easily to a considerably higher position. Finally he felt the impulse to walk without the table, used the plunger as an aid, and did not need to put his weight upon it. That meant that at that point newly activated portions of muscles and joints were working more or less in unison. He had to bend over, but the elasticized back was simply holding itself in abeyance. The muscles in the high portions of the legs, in the back, are the ones that need to be strengthened to unite the body in the flexibility that various portions of it are achieving.

Ruburt in the meantime had felt his body relaxing. He wanted to go out in order to show that his attitude had changed. And to please you. You said “Don’t go out because you think you should.” He felt like crying all of a sudden, and he mentioned that. He went to the bathroom, and as he did he knew at once that his bodily situation had changed. At that point he immediately took it for granted, with a rush of self-disapproval, that this was a sign that he had learned nothing, and that his body was objecting to the whole idea of going out, and therefore challenging him—in other words, that his negative beliefs had risen to challenge new healthier attitudes.

He made a half-hearted attempt to get out of it. You then made a remark, voicing his own fears as well as your own, saying that you would not let him get away with it, meaning you would not let him get away with not going out as a pattern. So you were both in the middle of a crisis. What happened physically was this. Ruburt’s body had extended itself on several occasions that day, stretching and using new postures, giving him the impulses toward further activity, exercising itself through that small-enough but important walk. It then relaxed.

The back and neck areas began a new expansion. The knees in the meantime, and the lower portion of the body, would ordinarily have rested. The body was sending messages simply that the time was not right. You both took it for granted, however, that despite what it seemed Ruburt might have learned lately, negative beliefs were rising in rebellion, and forcing a crisis that you then had to meet.

(10:02.) Ruburt went out to his room. The phone rang. Ruburt was given what he wanted—the psychological stimulation of a friend, who was all ready to visit you because Ruburt’s message had gotten through. The psychological activity would have allowed the body to continue its process. The impulse had been a good one, to have company. Even then Ruburt was tempted to have Wade come, but his own disapproval, and yours, made it obvious that to do so would certainly be a copout. His body was not ready.

Ruburt does the steps, something he does not do inside—a change for the body, and a good one—but in his position an exercise in itself. Both of you even refuse to think of using the table in the garage, so Ruburt forces his body into the most unnatural of positions so that he can lean upon the car. Those positions would aggravate anyone. He made it to the car, knowing that on the other occasions that his body had so protested he had had difficulty. He used his resources to try to change the situation. He used suggestion. He tried to concentrate upon the ride.

Ruburt’s body earlier signaled its desire to move, its readiness. He obeyed the impulse, which was excellent. The other bodily messages were as valid, and there was no need to take it for granted, as both of you did, that some element in Ruburt’s personality was rebelliously and purposefully sabotaging you at that time.

Not only then do you have a manufactured crisis of one minor variety or another, but Ruburt is expected or expects his body to execute the steps, walk without the table or any other aid, and behave entirely differently, and of course better, than he does inside the house. Neither of you would even think of a chair in the garage; any aid would be a copout. There are some days when his body can perform in that regard, and some days when it cannot at this point.

Basically, it is this self-disapproval that forms artificial crises, that then impede your progress, cause you to misinterpret events, and act accordingly. This of course applies in the area of “Unknown,” as well as in situations in which either of you compare yourselves unfavorably with, say, your neighbors’ physical activity. It is unhealthy not to want to go out. You interpret that statement, however, in social and moral terms. Of course the healthy body wants to go out in nature. It is not morally wrong at any given time to want the opposite, or overall to prefer mental to physical activity—nor, overall, is that preference unhealthy.

When Ruburt does not go out, however, it is never a simple issue of the body’s condition at any given time, but a moral dilemma in which, basically you see, you are misinterpreting events. Ruburt felt like having company. Your own improved mental habits of the week, your pendulum work and his own improvements, released energy that under those conditions sought release—and his impulse showed him in what direction.

On another occasion, he might have wanted to go out, to take a drive; and the impulse will also be the result of the body’s knowledge that the time is right. He was relieved during your bad weather because the artificial crisis was lessened. You have made gains, and important ones. Ruburt’s body messages should be heeded. He heeds them if they follow your ideas of improvements. If not, you both take it for granted that the body is not in the middle of a process, but that some immediate challenge exists.

The disapproval forces you to make a pattern in which the improvements become insignificant rather than significant. You could not understand the body’s performance last evening because you took it for granted, and without question, that some portion of Ruburt was challenging other portions.