“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(10:05.) I do not want to duplicate material. At one time, however, you briefly curtailed physical activity for what you considered the sake of your subjective freedom. You quickly dismissed that idea after a taste of it. Ruburt accepted that idea, believing he must make a choice. All of this, you see, must be considered in the light of our last session, for it involves varying degrees of self-disapproval and polarities of thought, so that the contradictions occurred in your experience—though there were more, of course, in basic terms.

This does not mean that you should begin shoveling walks tomorrow, with your attitude. There are classic, distorted stories of the weakly scholar as opposed to the hearty sportsman. To some extent the same applies to Ruburt. You are surrounded by propaganda saying that the body will not perform in a healthy, vigorous manner, if you indulge primarily in subjective activity—if you sit at your desk, for example.

These ideas, with the last session, have to do with Ruburt’s partitioning of his spontaneity, for he also felt that you had to choose one way or the other, and that to protect your subjective freedom you had to inhibit the externally oriented spontaneity that was sanctioned by most of the society, because you could not do both. This is, again—and to some extent—on both your parts, black-and-white thinking.

(10:49.) Give us a moment.... Ruburt has had excellent results with Emir, and you should rejoice. You do, yet you think at what expense did Emir come—what restrictions of physical activity—and had you been somewhat different, would it all have been necessary?

At the same time you think that Ruburt is at least spontaneous in his art, while it seems to you that you are not spontaneous enough in that area.

Give us a moment.... Some of your inner feelings are difficult for me to express, because they are in so many layers that I am not sure of their relative importance. To some extent, again then, the sale of a book, a new sale, is somehow connected in your mind with disapproval of yourself, Joseph, in that Ruburt seems able to express what I think you interpret as competitiveness, that you feel you are not expressing—and you add that to your arsenal of disapproval. (Very good.)

The 1973 session book Ruburt is reading has helped him, simply because it rearouses the feelings of psychic, creative and physical improvement he did achieve, and because it contains in capsule form all—most all—of the important material I have given, though some of it no longer applies.

At certain stages your experience relatively coincides—relatively—with events in the past, so that some material attains double strength. Generally, however, your hopes and faith in Ruburt’s recovery became somewhat eroded. Your feelings of hopelessness were the result, as given in the last session, but nowhere did you thoroughly work out in the past the problems of self-disapproval; or if one managed to attain a foothold, the other did not, so you could not properly reinforce each other creatively, and became quickly discouraged.

This summer, you compared your way of life with those polarized ideas, with the way of life of the construction men, for example. The disapproval causes you to exaggerate the differences, rather than glorify them as you should —though glorify may be too strong a word. Ruburt’s physical condition becomes a materialization of those concepts, exaggerated, so that he is not able to go forth in the world, believing the polarity so great, with him and subjective activity having the disadvantage.

(11:09.) You believed to some degree—varying degrees, but jointly—that subjective activity and creative activity must be achieved at the expense of some physical expression. You obviously did not fall for that to the extent Ruburt did —and all of this must be considered also in the light of the religious and scientific views, with Ruburt particularly, in which the spontaneous self was considered the psychological villain of the society and the individual. The spontaneous self is the guardian—that is what Ruburt is learning.

The Gallaghers trust spontaneity only when it is expressed through physical motion. To some extent, again, Ruburt trusted it only when it was expressed through subjective motion. I suggested that you take walks, Joseph, some time ago, simply to rearouse your natural love of that activity.

Give us a moment.... You can see how Ruburt’s body responds when he suspends self-disapproval, and when he allies himself with his nature, and when you both suspend your sense of hopelessness in that area. If you continue as you are, you can indeed expect quite startling improvements—but you are not to compare, either of you, Ruburt’s condition with the Gallaghers’ skiing, anymore than they could compare their attempts at subjective journeying with Ruburt’s inner soaring. Avoid absolutes.

All Ruburt wants is normal motion. You saw the response in his leg this evening. The important neck and jaw areas are definitely releasing, and the eyes will swiftly begin to resume their normal activity—if you continue as you are. Your own physical vigor is there, and can express itself, comparatively speaking —comparatively speaking—with far greater ease once you rid yourself of those polarized concepts and the disapproval that goes with them.

Ruburt stands taller—observably. He is using muscles in new ways. Gaining strength and vitality. Your body is already in excellent shape, in general terms—we are not speaking of athletes. It would need, naturally, some period of training if you were thinking of climbing mountains, or expected to ski down a good slope tomorrow—but it is well prepared for normal activity. Only your beliefs impede it—so work with those beliefs before you shovel the drive. It is the dilemma behind the whole thing that is important, the implied conflicts between subjective and objective activity. And the responsibilities you feel this entails.

Ruburt’s vitality, reemerging, shows itself in his desire for physical intimacy, and will hopefully, as you continue this path, be reflected in all other areas of life.