“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There are periods of rest necessary, so for a while Ruburt did not write down his feelings. He was tired of dealing with them. Now they are coming to the forefront again, and Ruburt is tying them into your early springtime pendulum sessions, so that some new benefits now can come from that old work.

The decision to have the interview of itself meant that Ruburt was less afraid. The event of the interview showed you both, in concentrated form, how much you hid from others, and led to the further decision as described in our last session–not to hide Ruburt’s condition, and not to be apologetic about it either.

Let us briefly discuss the past. You both considered yourselves fine intellectuals, and at that time advocates of science and of the mind. You, Joseph, were particularly distrustful of the emotions, particularly of course of any raw emotion, and you preferred, if possible, to discuss emotions intellectually while feeling them as indirectly as possible. Ruburt was more emotionally demonstrative, more open to people, while frightened of them at the same time.

When he danced, he often felt that he was dancing out the emotions of others. When our sessions began I spoke to you in an intellectual rather than emotional manner. In the beginning the two of you experimented more or less together, with your psy-time and so forth. You did not allow yourself to be moved by people to the extent that Ruburt sometimes did.

He grew afraid of drinking, lest his inhibitions be dropped, and he began getting impressions about other people, and telling them. Several affairs frightened you both: the woman in labor, for example, and the affair in which Ruburt banged upon the table. You both felt that considerable caution had to be used. Ruburt drank considerably in class—yet always with one eye watching the other. He had to show that he had psychic abilities, but that he was in control of them. He had to prove that he was a reasonable person. He felt that you would disapprove of many class events, in those classes you did not attend—that you would think he went too far.

(10:05.) It is very possible that you would have found the emotional aura at least vaguely unpleasant on some occasions—so Ruburt always tried, because of his own feelings as well as yours, to be intuitional and intellectual at the same time. He was also afraid of making errors, because unlike other psychics, he could not simply conveniently forget them or make up a story to cover them.

Since his psychic abilities did not show themselves in a conventional fashion in his early years, he did not learn to trust them as he might have otherwise, yet this was part of the entire picture. What he is trying to do is to turn on the “high intellect,” or “spacious mind.” The high intellect or spacious mind is a combination of what you think of as psychic or intuitional, and intellectual qualities—only raised to a much higher degree, and united.

I am not making judgments now, but showing reactions—so the two of you hid the sessions from the beginning, for example. You tried to fit the sessions into the scientific context, as you thought was right, with the testing and so forth. None of that spoke of any great emotional exhibitionism, yet both of you feared it. Ruburt has pared down his abilities (as I mentioned before the session). He has pared them down to those he could reasonably explain intellectually.

For a while you altered your schedules. This shook you up a bit psychically, and freed some energy, and Ruburt did very well typing Seven. You broke up some habitual negative patterns, and gave yourselves some different viewpoints. These viewpoints were barely noticed, and yet they also resulted in a loosening of some mental patterns, simply because you did not automatically do certain things because it was a certain time of day.

(“What do you think of that reading Jane received in the mail today?” I referred to a reading by the medium, Elwood Babbit, given for someone who had written Jane several months ago; the individual subsequently saw Babbitt, and sent Jane a copy of the long, rambling, very generalized material that could have applied to many people. We noted wryly that the correspondent made no mention of what EB had charged for the reading. Jane was scandalized and embarrassed by the reading. I was sorrowful and appalled. She repeated that there must be something wrong with her attitude toward affairs of that kind, but I said I didn’t think so.