“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The decision to have the interview of itself meant that Ruburt was less afraid. The event of the interview showed you both, in concentrated form, how much you hid from others, and led to the further decision as described in our last session–not to hide Ruburt’s condition, and not to be apologetic about it either.

He grew afraid of drinking, lest his inhibitions be dropped, and he began getting impressions about other people, and telling them. Several affairs frightened you both: the woman in labor, for example, and the affair in which Ruburt banged upon the table. You both felt that considerable caution had to be used. Ruburt drank considerably in class—yet always with one eye watching the other. He had to show that he had psychic abilities, but that he was in control of them. He had to prove that he was a reasonable person. He felt that you would disapprove of many class events, in those classes you did not attend—that you would think he went too far.

Since his psychic abilities did not show themselves in a conventional fashion in his early years, he did not learn to trust them as he might have otherwise, yet this was part of the entire picture. What he is trying to do is to turn on the “high intellect,” or “spacious mind.” The high intellect or spacious mind is a combination of what you think of as psychic or intuitional, and intellectual qualities—only raised to a much higher degree, and united.

I am not making judgments now, but showing reactions—so the two of you hid the sessions from the beginning, for example. You tried to fit the sessions into the scientific context, as you thought was right, with the testing and so forth. None of that spoke of any great emotional exhibitionism, yet both of you feared it. Ruburt has pared down his abilities (as I mentioned before the session). He has pared them down to those he could reasonably explain intellectually.

Again, a note: when Ruburt talks about his work, this is often a ruse, an excuse, to hold back from free, playful, intuitive or psychic experiences. You both like to use the word work to show others that you are not irresponsible, and that you work twice as hard as they do. This also means, however, that you inhibit natural, playful creativity and sometimes what I will call high art, because you are so obsessed with your images.