“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He grew afraid of drinking, lest his inhibitions be dropped, and he began getting impressions about other people, and telling them. Several affairs frightened you both: the woman in labor, for example, and the affair in which Ruburt banged upon the table. You both felt that considerable caution had to be used. Ruburt drank considerably in class—yet always with one eye watching the other. He had to show that he had psychic abilities, but that he was in control of them. He had to prove that he was a reasonable person. He felt that you would disapprove of many class events, in those classes you did not attend—that you would think he went too far.

It is for this reason that he has stubbornly resisted other areas of help in his physical condition, and it is the reason that you have gone along.

I am not making judgments now, but showing reactions—so the two of you hid the sessions from the beginning, for example. You tried to fit the sessions into the scientific context, as you thought was right, with the testing and so forth. None of that spoke of any great emotional exhibitionism, yet both of you feared it. Ruburt has pared down his abilities (as I mentioned before the session). He has pared them down to those he could reasonably explain intellectually.

Sleeping five hours or so—for Ruburt, in any case—right now is good, because his body wants to move by then, and soreness and irritability begin toward morning as a rule for that reason and at this stage.

There are various reasons for the problems after a nap, but usually various feelings that he has not resolved during the day—often of guilt—come to the surface when he awakens.