“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: Ruburt’s irritability is partially physical of late. The body wants to move. Irritability is indeed in its way a sign of life and vitality. It is not passive, for example. Physically Ruburt is nervous. The nervous system is being activated. He wants to walk—and is being driven toward motion, even though his present capabilities as yet only allow him to go so far. The irritability then is a healthy, nervous reaction. The nerves are physically urging him on—hence of course the walking in the kitchen, the impatience in the chair, the odd nervous sensations in the legs and hips, and behind this, your decision again not to hide —not to be apologetic. His body is already less apologetic.

On the other hand, the decision to have the interview (for the Village Voice), to take up with Eleanor, and so forth—these events catapult old beliefs to the forefront of Ruburt’s mind—an excellent reaction, by the way—for when those beliefs are voiced and discussed then they can be understood and eventually dismissed.

The decision to have the interview of itself meant that Ruburt was less afraid. The event of the interview showed you both, in concentrated form, how much you hid from others, and led to the further decision as described in our last session–not to hide Ruburt’s condition, and not to be apologetic about it either.

Ruburt felt he had to explain to the world, and he began to cut off experiences that he did not intellectually find decisive answers for. This does apply to the predictions and to his attitudes toward the mail—which are highly ambiguous.