“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The decision to have the interview of itself meant that Ruburt was less afraid. The event of the interview showed you both, in concentrated form, how much you hid from others, and led to the further decision as described in our last session–not to hide Ruburt’s condition, and not to be apologetic about it either.

Let us briefly discuss the past. You both considered yourselves fine intellectuals, and at that time advocates of science and of the mind. You, Joseph, were particularly distrustful of the emotions, particularly of course of any raw emotion, and you preferred, if possible, to discuss emotions intellectually while feeling them as indirectly as possible. Ruburt was more emotionally demonstrative, more open to people, while frightened of them at the same time.

He grew afraid of drinking, lest his inhibitions be dropped, and he began getting impressions about other people, and telling them. Several affairs frightened you both: the woman in labor, for example, and the affair in which Ruburt banged upon the table. You both felt that considerable caution had to be used. Ruburt drank considerably in class—yet always with one eye watching the other. He had to show that he had psychic abilities, but that he was in control of them. He had to prove that he was a reasonable person. He felt that you would disapprove of many class events, in those classes you did not attend—that you would think he went too far.

I am not making judgments now, but showing reactions—so the two of you hid the sessions from the beginning, for example. You tried to fit the sessions into the scientific context, as you thought was right, with the testing and so forth. None of that spoke of any great emotional exhibitionism, yet both of you feared it. Ruburt has pared down his abilities (as I mentioned before the session). He has pared them down to those he could reasonably explain intellectually.

(10:30.) Give us a moment.... In a way both of you wanted your worlds to meet. You have cut down on your own psychic experience until you finish “Unknown,” because you did not want to take the time to record dreams, and you did not want psychic events—either of you—to spill over into your daily lives and intrude upon your “work.”

Again, a note: when Ruburt talks about his work, this is often a ruse, an excuse, to hold back from free, playful, intuitive or psychic experiences. You both like to use the word work to show others that you are not irresponsible, and that you work twice as hard as they do. This also means, however, that you inhibit natural, playful creativity and sometimes what I will call high art, because you are so obsessed with your images.

Read this session carefully, and pay attention to it. Try to be somewhat daring in your ways together, and less cautious and inhibited. The session should give both of you important hints to release your own creativity, and when Ruburt is feeling blue about something, if he does not discuss it with you, he should write the feelings down at once.

Both he and his customers follow the same psychic map. The readings give a certain comfort. They cannot be proven or disproven. The medium, for example, has not opened up into the higher intellect, for he will not question enough to truly discover the point where the intellect can go no further.