“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We’ve learned a good deal about Jane’s symptoms, working with the pendulum since Monday’s session. We’re keeping a list of all questions, with the daily answers, and are now seeing some notable shifts in answers, indicating improved communication between her conscious and unconscious selves.

The person, therefore, often “cannot live up to his art.” Ruburt wants to embody his art. He expects himself to possess all of the qualities that his art tries to entice from human nature. If man can be a natural healer, and he says so, then he personally should heal others and himself. That is his reasoning. If he is gifted with words in writing, and gifted in speech, then he feels that he should go out bravely into the public arena, and speak out his message to the world.

I am not making value judgments of my own here in the following remarks. His subconscious, however, knowing its own beliefs which were given it by the conscious self, after all, feels highly threatened, for it knows not more about Ruburt than he does, but more than Ruburt will admit he knows. He expects himself to do such things, and the minute he gets better, he says, he will go thusly out into the world.

This is the same person who on the other hand used to put up barriers of bookcases at one end of the living room to protect himself from any neighbors or miscellaneous callers; who objected when Mr. Gottlieb dared to cross into his private working area and glance at a paper. In the face of those fears, Ruburt did progress from someone who was afraid to read poetry to friends, to someone who ran an excellent class of nearly 50 people—all of the time denying that any fears existed. Not faced, the fears grew.

Now: Ruburt has had nearly enough for this evening, considering today’s activities, but I will get to all of your questions in the very near future.

Ruburt became frightened, for example, of out-of-body travel when he began to get it in his head that “all the nuts” were doing it too, and that out-of-body activity involved him in an inner public environment, in which he might meet “all those fools” who were then not bound by physical restraints. He did not fear death, for example, at the hands of others, then, but too close emotional contact. He felt people “could get at him” that way.