“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He refused several marriage proposals, having determined he would not toe the mark at all in a conventional marriage. He tried a relationship with Walt, but his high spirits and abilities would not stand for that kind of repression. When he met you, he turned to love and science, for by then he had set upon science and the intellect as a safe means of containing his abilities and expressing them.

He found himself with you and his work. He would do what he would do anyway, protecting himself as he thought fit. When the feedback stopped, the subconscious became panicky. Since so much of Ruburt’s life was involved with yours, it felt that Ruburt must now toe the mark with you also—at least topside —so that he must not express any contrary opinions, or that you would abandon him also, in which case he would be utterly alone.

Give us a moment.... Ruburt did not approve of fear. He felt it was, again, cowardly. It was given no validity, nor acknowledged as valid. As the books continued to sell, several conflicts arose. They served expression and creativity, and they insured financial security—but at the same time they made Ruburt’s unofficial “dangerous” thoughts publicly available. They told the world he did not toe the line, and he feared retribution, ostracism, scorn.