“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The story of what we’ve been up to the last few days can be found in Jane’s records of her pendulum sessions since March 28. Of course, she has been trying to find out causes for her physical symptoms. I’ve helped her somewhat, but plan to do much more. Several times lately she’s remarked that she’s “desperate,” so when she did so again in bed recently I told her that from the next day on we would put her needs first, regardless of all else. This means working with the pendulum, suggestion, selfhypnosis, whatever’s needed, to get at the root of her troubles. We’ll do this first thing each morning, for however long it takes each day, until we see signs that results are what we want them to be.

A private session. Some of this material has been given before, but it is important here.

First of all, it is important to realize that Ruburt’s unconscious, so called, is not working against him on purpose, sabotaging his projects. The subconscious does reason, but it also reasons according to the information that you give it.

We must start with the fact that Ruburt did not feel secure as a child, but was made somewhat to feel responsible for his mother’s illness and breakup of her marriage. He was then sent to a home. He was a high-spirited child, and was taught there that he must toe the mark and do what the others did, or he would be punished.

Later, when he returned home, he learned that he must toe the mark again, or Welfare would put him in another home. He must not make waves. It was not safe to stand out. His food, clothing, and survival depended on toeing the mark. The church provided a family of sorts, but that family also was dependent upon religious obedience. Ruburt’s high spirits and abilities fought against such circumstances. He finally broke away from the church—running to college—a college considered by the church at the time as communistically inclined, antireligious, and so forth.

He refused several marriage proposals, having determined he would not toe the mark at all in a conventional marriage. He tried a relationship with Walt, but his high spirits and abilities would not stand for that kind of repression. When he met you, he turned to love and science, for by then he had set upon science and the intellect as a safe means of containing his abilities and expressing them.

Your own joint sexual love was too hot for either of you to handle, and you both tempered it with intellectualism and caution; but for all of that it has endured. Ruburt’s abilities and energy kept seeking fulfillment. Through those years he considered himself an outcast from society, and he did not know where his abilities were leading. He tried to toe the mark while doing his own thing. He did not identify with the world or its people. He identified mentally, however, with science, with the avant-garde, and so was sustained. At the gallery, for example, when your psychic work began, he did not speak out, and you encouraged him not to, and you both considered this as a scientific kind of breakthrough. When Ruburt discovered that his energy and abilities had led him to a point where he was at odds with religion and science, and had no place to roost, thematically, he became very worried.

Give us a moment.... Ruburt did not approve of fear. He felt it was, again, cowardly. It was given no validity, nor acknowledged as valid. As the books continued to sell, several conflicts arose. They served expression and creativity, and they insured financial security—but at the same time they made Ruburt’s unofficial “dangerous” thoughts publicly available. They told the world he did not toe the line, and he feared retribution, ostracism, scorn.

(10:20.) Give us a moment.... At times, again, inroads would be made. I have probably mentioned before that in college Ruburt would cross the street often rather than meet a group of students. The pattern simply intensified. The Gallery of Silence affair was simply another episode, in which fears were poohpoohed, but he was afraid that those people would come here, and he felt threatened.

His new room gave him the view that he wanted, but no protection—and not only that, but then he was the one who met guests head-on.

Give us a moment again.... Obviously the unconscious is spontaneous, but his early experience taught him, as given earlier this evening, to use that spontaneity with care. The subconscious feels that it is doing its job, because Ruburt has not allowed feedback; not approving of fear, not allowing the feelings release, and therefore also cutting down on experience that could counter the feelings and show the subconscious that the fears were exaggerated.

(I mentioned to Jane a question I’d thought of during the session but hadn’t interrupted to ask: If the subconscious can reason, as Seth tells us, why doesn’t it understand that at times it can go too far sometimes?—that obviously the idea of selfprotection can be very damaging if carried to extremes. Why wouldn’t it back off somewhat in such a case? Its own domain could literally be threatened or obliterated if it didn’t act within bounds. Jane listened, but didn’t get anything from Seth in answer, so it’s for next time. She did say that Seth indicated that class helped her to some degree, in that she got approval from it, as in a family situation.)