“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(The story of what we’ve been up to the last few days can be found in Jane’s records of her pendulum sessions since March 28. Of course, she has been trying to find out causes for her physical symptoms. I’ve helped her somewhat, but plan to do much more. Several times lately she’s remarked that she’s “desperate,” so when she did so again in bed recently I told her that from the next day on we would put her needs first, regardless of all else. This means working with the pendulum, suggestion, selfhypnosis, whatever’s needed, to get at the root of her troubles. We’ll do this first thing each morning, for however long it takes each day, until we see signs that results are what we want them to be.

We must start with the fact that Ruburt did not feel secure as a child, but was made somewhat to feel responsible for his mother’s illness and breakup of her marriage. He was then sent to a home. He was a high-spirited child, and was taught there that he must toe the mark and do what the others did, or he would be punished.

His survival in college, since he had a scholarship, was dependent upon toeing the mark, and even then he refused to do so; and was quite unceremoniously kicked out on his independent ass.

Your own joint sexual love was too hot for either of you to handle, and you both tempered it with intellectualism and caution; but for all of that it has endured. Ruburt’s abilities and energy kept seeking fulfillment. Through those years he considered himself an outcast from society, and he did not know where his abilities were leading. He tried to toe the mark while doing his own thing. He did not identify with the world or its people. He identified mentally, however, with science, with the avant-garde, and so was sustained. At the gallery, for example, when your psychic work began, he did not speak out, and you encouraged him not to, and you both considered this as a scientific kind of breakthrough. When Ruburt discovered that his energy and abilities had led him to a point where he was at odds with religion and science, and had no place to roost, thematically, he became very worried.

He found himself with you and his work. He would do what he would do anyway, protecting himself as he thought fit. When the feedback stopped, the subconscious became panicky. Since so much of Ruburt’s life was involved with yours, it felt that Ruburt must now toe the mark with you also—at least topside —so that he must not express any contrary opinions, or that you would abandon him also, in which case he would be utterly alone.

He fears the books will not sell, because he is afraid, as in childhood, that if you do not toe the line your sustenance will be taken away. Remind him that financially at least that not toeing the line has paid off very well indeed, and in your pendulum work inform the subconscious of that.

At the time the subconscious developed these fears, it believed that its survival was dependent upon other people, for Ruburt was young and frightened. If you did not do what other people said, you were in trouble—and deeply. In the face of that belief Ruburt still determined to do his own thing, only with the safeguards.

Give us a moment again.... Obviously the unconscious is spontaneous, but his early experience taught him, as given earlier this evening, to use that spontaneity with care. The subconscious feels that it is doing its job, because Ruburt has not allowed feedback; not approving of fear, not allowing the feelings release, and therefore also cutting down on experience that could counter the feelings and show the subconscious that the fears were exaggerated.

He felt that aggressive action was also threatening, for the same reasons as just given. You do not bite the hand that feeds you. The feelings of panic are the result of fears usually buried, when they simply reach a point of intensity that seeks acknowledgement.

A note: I had not intended to say this again. Because it seems to do no good. I would like to mention, however, that neither of you make any serious effort to change your beliefs about the world of men.

What I have said on that issue has made little inroad there. You are selfrighteous, both of you, and intolerant of your fellows. You look for evidence of their poor intent, and chicanery, and you seek out evidence of their flaws. In your terms, I do not share your humanity, in a fashion. I am not directly concerned with the exuberance, vitality, creativity, joys, sorrows, or tragedies of life.

I will ride my good fortune tonight by telling you that such actions do not help either of you at all, and that they are not realistic or objective attitudes, though you may believe that they are. I will carry my sacrilegious remarks further to tell you personally, Joseph, that the Rockefellers are not driven by any evil intent. And with that remark I leave you, daring not to trespass any further upon your cherished beliefs. A fond good evening.