“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s lapses have become quite noticeable to him, in contrast with the renewed air of freedom that he has indeed felt lately. He has also, however, begun to project, in small ways, in a quite positive manner, and felt impulses that before he denied.

The arms have been exercised in new ways. He has felt like performing some physical activities—getting the meal today. (Jane’s first in many many months.) The impulse automatically led him to perform physical acts that before he simply would not have done, so desire and impulse mobilize the body.

Yet in certain individuals, life, fully healthy or otherwise, would be meaningless otherwise. You both decided to do what you wanted to do regardless of any “psychic field” of endeavor. The term is meaningless. The fact is that you decided to use your minds in certain ways that you felt were not approved of in your society—and that pattern goes way back for both of you; when you, for example, decided to bow out of a career in commercial art.

You had a period of acceptance under your belt, in comics, that you left. Ruburt did not. (An important point to remember.) He was determined to go his own way. His being demanded expression through the use of its abilities, and despite his need to be accepted by others he began to exaggerate the threat of their disapproval into scorn. When he began to sell his work, he felt to some degree, now, dependent upon the acceptance of the others in the world—for if they did not accept him at all they would not buy his books. Your own feelings about the world did not help in that regard.