“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s early environment was far from perfect. He chose it, because it did indeed provide a framework that would make questioning prominent. He began in his own way to form his own theory concerning the nature of God and reality at a young age. He expressed these theories and feelings through poetry, which was itself an unconventional activity.

Our sessions began, really, as an extension, a natural enough development, the results of a personal search. Give us a moment.... I have given more material than I can say on the subject of Ruburt’s attitude toward creativity and what happens when he emphasizes the idea of work as work, or as a career, above his spontaneous creativity. I got my message through to some degree on several occasions for example, when his arms were suddenly free. It is the overemphasis upon work and career—overemphasis, now, that brings about or triggers the fears behind the difficulties.

Then he feels that he is in at best an ambiguous position, for the world continues doing as it will, and his correspondents, solving one problem, immediately write with another. This kind of situation of course then triggers old fears of doubt or threat. Those fears are then not admitted, for he thinks that they must indeed be beneath a person whose entire life work is devoted to a search for the nature of reality, and therefore a person who must possess, or try to possess, the answers to all of the questions.

(10:20.) Give us a moment.... That entire climate arouses feelings of disapproval, for the individual can never live up to impossible aspirations. That is what happened for a while to Seven. You both have your own characteristics, and if you understood that, or if Ruburt did, he would be better off.

The overemphasis, again, upon the work alone triggers the old fears about poverty, and toeing the mark and so forth, for it arouses worries about “making the work pay.” Remember, when Ruburt wrote short stories he slanted them for the market. The woman could not win out in tales for Playboy, so when Ruburt thinks in that fashion about work, he thinks he is not only not slanting his material for the market, but often telling people precisely what they may not want to hear at all—hence this would arouse worries about the sale of the books.

(11:00 PM. I was pretty depressed by session’s end, since it seemed we had so far to go. The first question Seth referred to was the one about why the subconscious didn’t realize it was going to far, when it imposed or brought about symptoms, as in Jane’s case, that were proving to be too damaging to the body, compared to what they were supposed to protect the body against.

(To do: read sessions in Chapter 15, Personal Reality. Check pendulum for good things done in past. Check pendulum for good things done in past we’re pleased with now.)