“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s early environment was far from perfect. He chose it, because it did indeed provide a framework that would make questioning prominent. He began in his own way to form his own theory concerning the nature of God and reality at a young age. He expressed these theories and feelings through poetry, which was itself an unconventional activity.

Then he feels that he is in at best an ambiguous position, for the world continues doing as it will, and his correspondents, solving one problem, immediately write with another. This kind of situation of course then triggers old fears of doubt or threat. Those fears are then not admitted, for he thinks that they must indeed be beneath a person whose entire life work is devoted to a search for the nature of reality, and therefore a person who must possess, or try to possess, the answers to all of the questions.

(10:15.) Of course the personal material did threaten him, with his beliefs, for how could the person responsible for such a weighty lifework have any weaknesses? Certainly the weaknesses said that the material was not true – because when he emphasizes work over creativity he becomes overly conscientious, overly concerned with responsibility, and puts himself in a situation where old fears are indeed triggered.