“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s early environment was far from perfect. He chose it, because it did indeed provide a framework that would make questioning prominent. He began in his own way to form his own theory concerning the nature of God and reality at a young age. He expressed these theories and feelings through poetry, which was itself an unconventional activity.

The poetry provided a direct expression of his ideas, and a protective coating as well. He lived by those ideas, however. As stated, this brought conflict with the church—a painful-enough period for Ruburt, but he was sure in his convictions. At the same time, poetry was and is creative play, and it sprang from the depths of his being. You do not have to try and make poetry practical.

Our sessions began, really, as an extension, a natural enough development, the results of a personal search. Give us a moment.... I have given more material than I can say on the subject of Ruburt’s attitude toward creativity and what happens when he emphasizes the idea of work as work, or as a career, above his spontaneous creativity. I got my message through to some degree on several occasions for example, when his arms were suddenly free. It is the overemphasis upon work and career—overemphasis, now, that brings about or triggers the fears behind the difficulties.

When he is emphasizing his own creativity, encouraging it, encouraging its spontaneity, then that flow has its own impetus and direction. It is freeing spiritually and physically. That flow releases or incites solutions, and is overall, say, of itself fear-banishing.

It keeps him in touch with the powerful portions of his personality that search for truth, out of joy in the activity for the quest itself. The doing is important. When he considers work as paramount, however, or thinks in terms of “the work of my life,” that emphasis inclines (with amusement) him to think primarily of results rather than of doing. It inclines him to see his ideas as existing in direct conflict to those of your contemporary times. That focus inclines him to a quite literal insistence that his creative material should in its way act like some supernatural doctor’s prescription that can be at once taken like a pill to solve each and every problem of each and every correspondent, and of course to solve his own problems as well.

Then he feels that he is in at best an ambiguous position, for the world continues doing as it will, and his correspondents, solving one problem, immediately write with another. This kind of situation of course then triggers old fears of doubt or threat. Those fears are then not admitted, for he thinks that they must indeed be beneath a person whose entire life work is devoted to a search for the nature of reality, and therefore a person who must possess, or try to possess, the answers to all of the questions.

The truth, as he interprets it, is no longer the joyful, curious, creative, free search for truth, let it lead where it will; but the idea of a life’s work makes him think “Who’s following me? My truth must be the real truth, for I do not want to lead others astray.”

Television becomes a threat because he feels he is being asked to prove the unprovable, and yet since this is his life’s work he feels responsible to do so.

He did not want me to tell you this—but your seriousness, much as it is well-intended in “Unknown” 2 and its notes, bothered him. They inclined him further to think in terms of his life’s work as a highly serious, no-nonsense endeavor, a body of work to be set against the world’s other great works.

(10:15.) Of course the personal material did threaten him, with his beliefs, for how could the person responsible for such a weighty lifework have any weaknesses? Certainly the weaknesses said that the material was not true – because when he emphasizes work over creativity he becomes overly conscientious, overly concerned with responsibility, and puts himself in a situation where old fears are indeed triggered.

(10:20.) Give us a moment.... That entire climate arouses feelings of disapproval, for the individual can never live up to impossible aspirations. That is what happened for a while to Seven. You both have your own characteristics, and if you understood that, or if Ruburt did, he would be better off.

It was important that Ruburt state his position, for example, by saying clearly that the symptoms threatened him, and that they threatened him more than any scorn, and important also that he state that the symptoms inhibited his writing. Once the pendulum shows you that the subconscious does understand, however, it is all right to check now and then,but those statements can act as negative suggestions otherwise. Each session should be thought of with its questions in consecutive terms, so that later questions follow the reasoning pattern already given.

(10:40.) Rest your fingers.... The most important thing, of course, is that you have set up communication, so that Ruburt’s fears are no longer being inhibited. But those fears must be considered in the light of the material given this evening. Remember, I am speaking of an overemphasis upon the idea of work, not about a normal concern about book publications, or career concerns, those are certainly reasonable. The overemphasis brings up the public image idea, so that Ruburt compares himself personally against some composite image that he imagines other people have of him. First of all, truly creative “work” is timeless. It must appear in time, but its nourishment is not like that of a baker’s loaf, and its “practicality” cannot be reduced to such terms. Ruburt’s lifework so far has been produced—again, so far—because despite such erroneous beliefs he has still allowed himself a creative spontaneity. But in the recent past that spontaneity has had to emerge against those resistances.

The overemphasis, again, upon the work alone triggers the old fears about poverty, and toeing the mark and so forth, for it arouses worries about “making the work pay.” Remember, when Ruburt wrote short stories he slanted them for the market. The woman could not win out in tales for Playboy, so when Ruburt thinks in that fashion about work, he thinks he is not only not slanting his material for the market, but often telling people precisely what they may not want to hear at all—hence this would arouse worries about the sale of the books.