“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt’s methods of dealing with such a situation were highly apparent, in his physical symptoms. Yours were not as easy to perceive. They did not show. In an unsafe universe you run your personal life along certain lines. This applies generally more or less, and specifically to you also. In that context you do not trust good fortune—indeed, it seems practical not to trust it. You hide good fortune for fear it will be taken away. It does not seem to belong in an unsafe universe. You do not tell people that you are doing well—you tell them that you must work from morning to night; that you do not have enough time. You have to prove that you are as hassled as they are.

Listen to your own conversation. When your friend Leonard comes and speaks of taking time out, you say “I wish I could afford such luxury,” or some such. You think of yourself as virtuous. The idea of not having enough time becomes your badge of virtue, showing that you are hard-working and not “an indolent artist.”

You work at home. You are reacting, and have been, to some of your mother’s attitudes toward men who work at home, so you try to prove to yourself and others that this is really not only as difficult as outside work, but more so. If people might think you have little to do all day because they do not see you going to a job, then you can show that you have even less time to yourself than others.

(9:40.) You have built up the idea of free time being wrong, sinful, no matter what you tell yourself about wanting more of it. That is one thing. Deeper, however, is the fact that the belief in an unsafe universe sets up certain habits of resistance, and more practically, of self-protection. The resistance is protective. It shows itself in fears that seem perfectly realistic, and indeed highly practical—the feeling itself is not let go of easily, for you and others rely upon it. It is a state of alarm and readiness. You are so used to feeling unsafe that you consider alarm of one kind or another as a realistic approach to life.

At John’s level, and in his unsafe universe, the events still prove how valuable the books are, since, to whatever extent, they are fought over. At Ruburt’s level and your own, the events show you that the universe, as it applies to your publishing world is safe—with leeway for action—and also opens up creative relationships with people at Prentice that were latent before. Now, these become “practical,” where before they were not considered so. This means that a great deal of energy is released.

(Pause.) Give us a moment.... Ruburt’s condition is literally improving at an amazing rate, as his entire body is being regenerated. The improvements must flow together, however, so that one completely healed area may not show that improvement until, for example, another area catches up. It will be healed but not functionally apparent.