“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

To some extent Ruburt is beginning to move in that direction now, in Psychic Politics—particularly with his codicils. First of all, of course, you do choose the culture into which you are born. The belief system is like a mental and spiritual climate. To some extent or another each individual alive alters that climate, so that even if there were no revolutions there would be constant change, sometimes gradual and sometimes sudden.

Since it is formed by beliefs held by natural creatures, culture is, as Ruburt states, as natural as your physical environment. Once you are born into a particular time and country, you do grow up in an almost invisible but definite environment of concepts, assumptions, and predetermined ideas that serve as a basis from which your own individual beliefs spring. There is a constant give-and-take between any individual and his cultural system.

Now Ruburt was always a rebel in this life. At the same time he possessed the natural urges to be loved and accepted by his fellow men.

The next was the system of science. And for some time he felt it to be a framework in which man could discover the truth about himself, and his relationship with the universe—but always there was the hope that some established system was there someplace. So while he rebelled against any given framework he was also certain that one did exist.

His early religious friends quickly turned away when he left the church. He was kicked out of college, and another bridge, he felt, had fallen down. Science fiction for a while offered science plus writing—a convenient platform. But the science fiction writers he met, and the field itself, he soon found as highly limiting.

(9:58.) For a while, though he would not admit it, he felt that he would be welcomed with open arms by someone, meaning some system. The spiritualists, he found, would do so, and made overtures. The so-called occult groups would also, with their Gnostic brotherhoods. All he had to do was translate his experience into their terms, as before he felt he was expected to translate it into conventional religious, academic, or scientific terms.

These previous cozy hopes of such acceptance were quite necessary to couch him as he went about his own searches, because he did not want to admit that he was, in a way, now, alone. His temperament is somewhat different than yours. You were alone in your family, but because he had no family his aloneness was so apparent that he tried to hide it.

Since his consciousness and mine were more directly encountering our experiences, however, then the inconsistencies showed their strain more in his experience.

Ruburt suddenly found himself then exploring very strange grounds indeed—and without the earlier sustaining hope. For all the recognized systems were wanting. He did not have to examine each one minutely, for his abilities, after some familiarization, left him with the knowledge of their merits. The stated discernible hypotheses of the various systems are one thing—but their invisible root assumptions are something else. Ruburt tried to put his understanding to practical use in terms of daily life, your relationship, work, finances, his classes, yet he found himself with definite physical hassles. You have encountered them through your relationship with him. In certain areas you both have blazed ahead. Those deeply seated, invisible, cultural assumptions still operated, however. Some of them you both dismissed for the very simple reason that they never temperamentally suited you to begin with. Others you dismissed because you grew in wisdom.

Now Ruburt wrote about it just lately (in Psychic Politics?), but he still does not realize how persuasive (pervasive?) this one particular cultural belief is, and only by accepting it does his physical condition make any sense.

Ruburt felt that anyone who went outside the established systems would meet ridicule, so he protected himself against it. He did his thing, but he set about creating an environment of “safety,” and he would not go outside of it. He would not have to deal with so-called skeptics on the one hand, nor would he allow himself to be set up as an occult priestess on the other. Nor would he be an object of ridicule to neighbors, for they would not see him that much.

The body’s discomfort as he wrote would also tone down his inner pursuits enough so that he could intellectually handle them.

As mentioned earlier, Ruburt’s sex, as Jane, was also connected, for he carried the beliefs of his culture that a woman would be ridiculed twice as quickly as a man. In the meantime he seemed to have, in a certain way, nothing concrete to offer in terms that he felt people could understand—nothing for them to grab a hold of.

The codicils will offer new hypotheses upon which private life can be based, and in this they are highly important. It is almost impossible for you, individually or together, to look back and see those beliefs you have dispensed with that were limiting, but the framework still lingered. These are ideas, then, that Ruburt must get through his head. It was necessary in the old frame of reference, that he believe his body could not work properly. It was a method of operation that allowed him to go ahead with what he felt was reasonable caution. While it limited his inner and outer potential to some degree, he still felt overall that he was going ahead as fast as he dared to.

In your system insanity means uncontrolled behavior largely, so he began putting more and more control upon his physical actions, so that no one could say his work was the result of instability. He tried not to appear nervous, but in control, while he was temperamentally and physically fast.

Ruburt felt that he needed protection. He also felt he had to discipline himself because he could not trust himself, and his symptoms served, again, to keep him at his work. Your society puts great stress upon the belief that there is a division between inner and outer, physical and mental activity. It is healthy to be athletic, unhealthy to sit at your desk. Your civilization believes that the body is a mechanical organism alone. If you use it, it works. If you sit as your desk it will become stiff. So the beliefs go. Ruburt was also tinged by those concepts, so if he had to make a choice, he chose the writer’s cramp.

(Long pause at 10:51.) He believes that he should use it on the one hand, therefore, and not use it on the other, for if he uses it “properly,” how can he be sitting at his desk?

There is more. You do things for him. These gestures, these helping gestures, serve as sexual reassurance. You prized his independent nature so, and you are so temperamentally different in certain ways, that he was ashamed at asking for reassurance of your love—though he knew you loved him. He wants you to open the car door out of old-fashioned gallantry. Instead you do it because he cannot do it, seemingly, well himself.

(11:09.) You can decide that you like to work alone—that you do not want to do tours—not because the world is hostile, but simply because that is your way. When the phone rings it is the hostile world out there, so it seems. That was what your father (to me) thought when his phone rang.

If Ruburt now and then wants to cry on your shoulder, let him, and comfort him. It is natural enough when his body hurts. He would not do it freely, and only because he tries to hide such tears from you does the emotion seem so lonely. He is afraid you are afraid, as you are. But the feeling is never let go properly or healthily, and it is a natural reaction—not threatening at all.

Your own natural feelings toward him, your own natural sexual feelings, with their naturally allowed sexual gallantry, would clear that point. In the past, the long past, he discouraged your sexual gallantry in his concern for proving himself independent—and also, then, because he felt on the other hand that if he endorsed it you would feel that he was tacitly demanding conventional female protection. He has grown more wise since.