“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There are publishing games also, and you do not play these. If you play those games and do poorly, you at least have a right to shout “foul” now and then—and I will tell you something: Prentice looks out for your interests in the person of John (Nelson) far more than you give him credit for. He likes you.

Ruburt is verbal. He loves to talk. He likes to hear you talk. Oftentimes your stomach upsets you because your love for Ruburt makes you concerned, and in most instances the stimulus is money. An occasion will arise, or a period of time, in which your love for him wants to find expression. You do this by expressing your concern that his work is not being duly appreciated in monetary terms (as I did this evening).

You are particularly sensitive here because of the male beliefs of your culture, and the feeling that Ruburt’s books are his rather than, say, yours. You want to show him that you appreciate that by your concern, but you do not express the love verbally half as much. Period.

Your own inclinations and your beliefs did not reinforce his sense of security. The exuberant expression of your love, for your love for him is exuberant, found no expression in the overall of an active, direct, clear route, but was diverted through concern, and through mention of the threats you felt might surround him.

He became extremely frightened when he went to the dentist (last month, 6 weeks), and when you again expressed your concern, but not your love: “I’m afraid you’ve had it,” you said. He was of course afraid of the same thing. But he interpreted your remark verbally as you made it, knowing you love him, but having to search through the concern.

He thinks he is being practical when he worries about his condition. You think jointly it is only common sense and practical, particularly after all of this time, to remember that any improvements have dead-ended. You think that in terms of his physical condition the point of power is in the past. Despite all of this, the overall processes of his body have improved. His flesh is more responsive and alive. The circulation is vastly better. His weight—for him—is almost normal.

The fibers are more elastic in his legs, but his confidence is still poor, nor have you made any attempts to encourage him in that direction. The key here is encouragement. The expression of your love saw threats, so that both of you together reiterate those beliefs.

Give us a moment.... For him, quickly now, again the eyes are all right. He applied tension to the head and neck area primarily, causing the difficulty with the teeth and so forth. The body was used like a shield. To some extent the exterior skin thickened, the muscles became fairly rigid, and the joints therefore constrained. The body has been softening, giving him a feeling of vulnerability, you see.

In ways too complicated to describe this evening, each portion of the body is connected with each other portion. The massage of the feet upon the ground, for example, does affect all body areas. The foot reflexology is good for him, and does help the eyes and head—but not overdone.

(12:01.) His worry about his condition added additional tension. The working men (for Frank Longwell) made him feel as if the world intruded, and by its standards he felt to some extent exposed. Here were the two of you, doing what in the world’s eyes he felt was in direct opposition to its standards—the brawny, outdoorsy, hearty, family oriented males involved.

You did well today, encouraging him in his house walking. Your original “walk for joy” was an “absolute” by contrast making his attempts seem futile. He is afraid that dependence as a woman threatens you because of his own beliefs. Your encouragement of his independence was interpreted as “Don’t dare be dependent.”

All of this is involved in the papers he wrote lately on sexuality. His body is quite capable. It needs encouragement, not demands—but above all, let him concentrate upon expression rather than repression. Only his worries held back this inspiration. You will see improvements the minute you expect them. The minute you look for them, and are not afraid of them.