“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(My discussion upset Jane, of course, as she made ready for tonight’s session, and I was left feeling angry and taken advantage of. I also felt that Jane was largely unconcerned by the foreign rights questions, and to me this was rather inconceivable, if such a word can be so qualified.

(10:53. Jane’s pace throughout had been good, and limited only by my own writing speed. I thought the material was excellent in all respects. I didn’t see how the insights could be better, I told Jane, and will try hard to implement them. I thought part of the material was hilarious, about our attitudes toward the world. I think that Seth’s expression for me of my feelings toward Jane were most accurate and penetrating—the kind of information one could spend months acquiring with the help of others, say. My own pendulum answers had steered me in the right direction, I saw, but were far short of being complete enough. I felt better than I had in some time.

You identified fairly strongly with your father as a boy. He seldom expressed love verbally toward your mother. He felt that the worst would happen in any given set of circumstances. You long believed emotionally that it was unrealistic to express love or hope, for circumstances would surely prove such expectations to be foolish.

He felt that the female was not temperamentally equipped to naturally handle such problems, and so adopted the symptoms. Because you so often expressed your concerns rather than your love, your fears rather than your hopes, and because of his own nature, the outside world appeared more threatening. He is by nature rather optimistic. From you he believed he learned that optimism was shallow, unrealistic, and that people were not to be trusted. He never believed in conflict. He is not abject, but he believes heartily in having nothing to do with an arena of activity in which he feels he might meet ridicule or criticism.

Your own inclinations and your beliefs did not reinforce his sense of security. The exuberant expression of your love, for your love for him is exuberant, found no expression in the overall of an active, direct, clear route, but was diverted through concern, and through mention of the threats you felt might surround him.

You do not expect the world to understand good work. You expect the artist, in whatever field, who is truly good, to be shunted aside. Your own hopes rise despite those beliefs, and have worked for you. But you have felt jointly that it was unsafe to trust the world; unrealistic; and while you could maintain a mental isolation, Ruburt adopted a physical one.

(12:01.) His worry about his condition added additional tension. The working men (for Frank Longwell) made him feel as if the world intruded, and by its standards he felt to some extent exposed. Here were the two of you, doing what in the world’s eyes he felt was in direct opposition to its standards—the brawny, outdoorsy, hearty, family oriented males involved.