“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

To some extent or another you chose abilities ahead of time that would at least partially meet conflict with the society in which you were born. Your abilities as an artist, for example, were not those relished by mothers in their male offspring. They were not considered beneficial in themselves—but only if they could be practically used as a way of making a living. The creativity implied was beside the point.

You could have stayed in apartments all your life, denying yourself the privacy that you now enjoy, and thus avoided any conflict. You chose to grow, to experiment, and to face whatever issues were involved. For you, the artist was not connected with any ideas of homemaking, though outside of that context you wanted to own your own piece of land, however small. Around you, you found, were men who had traveled other roads—your neighbors, and you felt yourselves to be aliens. You put yourselves in the middle, simply speaking, of the conventional world that earlier it seemed you had sworn to combat or ignore. This was quite necessary, for you were in danger of thinking of conventional people as symbols only—not as individuals with their own problems and concerns.

He kept it to protect himself and to protect you, artistically and economically, so that for example you would not have a child to support or to turn you from your lone purpose. The intuitions are regarded in your society as female—and as a writer he felt he had to guard against female impulses or characteristics —against being too frivolous or emotional.