“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt wanted to make creativity work financially so that you could both be free to pursue it. Through the years the goals of one level of consciousness— though I am putting this simply—became tied to the goals of another level of consciousness. Overall, ideally speaking, the two could be fused. Practically, however, this is like trying to build two pieces of furniture with different materials, then forming them into one cohesive whole. In both of your lives, those experiences, however valid, that did not fit both categories, gradually went to one degree or another by the way.

You are trying to live your lives, speaking simply now, at two mutually exclusive levels, combining two lines of belief that contradict each other. As a result any one action you take does not satisfy you, for you are equally drawn to the other direction. Events then are not clearcut or satisfying. You cannot thoroughly relax or thoroughly go ahead. You cannot thoroughly enjoy your solitude, or thoroughly appreciate your friends and normal social activities. You see in Ruburt’s physical condition the clearest representation, but this is simply the clearest sign of events that exist in your own private experience also. You go out into the world to do the chores, grudgingly, but you go. Ruburt goes ahead creatively, lately, grudgingly, but he goes.

Take a brief break, get Ruburt a beer, and I will most obediently continue, for I have important proposals.

In one area, that of money, Ruburt is fairly free, finally. You consider taxes as a symbol of the creator’s support of the mass world—that is, you feel forced to contribute to a world with which you do not agree. You feel that that world threatens you, and yet you must support it. But the threat—and you must try to understand me—the threat does not exist in that world, but only in your beliefs toward it. You are in that world of threat only according to the degree of power you allow it to have over you.

You have shut off your own psychic experiences, as to some extent Ruburt has, because of the dual purposes mentioned earlier, and the dual sets of beliefs. Some of these beliefs did not confront you earlier, you see, for you were not in a position to confront them.

(10:28.) Ruburt over-worries, now, with any new creative project: will it find readers? Is it important? Will it sell? And you smile. You worry about what the publisher will do with the book after it sells—what will happen to it, and imagine the ways in which it can be ruined. Two sides of the same coin.

Ruburt began to allow only psychic experiences that could be translated also—not primarily, you see—but also into financial productivity. You also wanted to wed your abilities in the same manner. You felt you could not afford free creative work. Ruburt felt that creative work could pay. Because of your ideas about time and creative work you felt that painting could not pay. Ruburt tricked you quite cleverly into doing the sketches for Dialogues—for your own good, he felt, and you did not enjoy the experience, allowing your beliefs to contaminate your creativity. You do not feel the world deserves creative work. Yet you have a nature that demands that you produce it.

This particular pattern is a suggestion only, however, but it will be of benefit. It would apply to each of you. It would apply to you alone whenever Ruburt works at night instead. When you are on the same time schedules, then bed at midnight. Set your alarm for 7:00, and get up. Be at your respective places —Ruburt at his desk, you in your studio—by 9:30, and work clearly, without interruptions, for three hours.

Each day should include, separately, a half hour alone that includes relaxation techniques and psy-time. This should be followed to begin with for each of you, by 10 minutes of yoga exercises. Ruburt should do the most simple ones. Then you should instantly get up. You are to take a 10-minute walk daily. That is a spiritual exercise as well as physical activity. Ruburt should, as I suggested some time ago, have a private phone. Class at least once a month, later twice a month, never more for now.

All of this will demand changes instead of complaints. Except for lip service, you do not encourage Ruburt in physical pursuits at all, or reward him for any accomplishments in that area when they do show. In the same way he encourages you to have the lawn or the driveway done.

Television at your dinner hour is advantageous, as long as it is not news. Occasionally you are helped by relaxing in such a manner for several hours. Often, however, this is dead time because your worries have so tired you. Several evenings a week, therefore, I suggest that the two of you pursue a period of psychic activity, as per Ruburt’s library, though with whatever variations suggest themselves. You need not be overly earnest at such times, however. I am not concerned about our book, the latest one. I am intent, however, about a new beginning, a new dedication, so that your own purposes become clearer, and your abilities better used. Conventional ideas of the psychic world have eroded both of your attitudes. In many cases, as with Kubler-Ross, it is again an issue of high insight occurring but put at the service of conventionalized beliefs.

Ruburt felt intensely alone in that regard. Hearing so many stories about out-of-body encounters, for example, he became frightened. You simply told him that was beneath his abilities, without understanding the sense of loneliness, or the fear generated by conventionalized beliefs, which before his own experiences he did not encounter. The relaxation and psy-time will help there, however.