“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, give us a moment.... Ruburt basically believed that if he did his own thing—writing—money would come to him. For a while, as given much earlier, he was worried about money, believing poverty the mark of the artist. The latter belief fell, however, and in three years the financial picture has changed vastly for the better.

You doubted that your own good work would bring any financial success at all, while you believed that commercial work would; but you do not like commercial work. Somewhat like George (Rhoads), you believed that your best work would not be appreciated. It would not sell, while “inferior” work, by contrast, would.

You felt you must make money, and so a conflict developed. Ruburt’s beliefs on his own, concerning his writing and money, carried the ball despite his worrying tendencies. You believed that his best work would bring money too, and so you had no conflicting beliefs about money in that regard.

The fact that you did do our notes gave you confidence, while you did not feel threatened by failure as an artist. There is a lot here not pertinent tonight, but interesting in the interweaving of your beliefs. If you would forget such ideas as selling your paintings and simply do them, you could clear some barriers.

(10:00.) Give us a moment.... Some long time ago your own belief that good work could not be financially relied upon put up enough of a barrier so that Ruburt became frightened about his own work (a fact I have long suspected, and recently discussed with Jane), and set up a physical situation that would force him to stay home, literally, work, and prevent him from trying any longer those other avenues that you were still adopting. (Jobs, etc.)

A child might result in your working out full time, in which case you would never, he felt, develop as an artist. Social contacts were kept at a minimum. The isolation he felt you needed would be given you. At the same time his own abilities would be concentrated upon also. It was a do-or-die effort on his part. Once embarked, there was to be no turning back, until finally his own work and your reactions began to hint of difficulties, and his own body reflected them. He tried to keep you from family connections and complications for what he thought was your own good.

The Florida trip would have had some excellent benefits. This present course will also however, but for now I suggest that you remain within this context.

(Louder:) That last sentence is not beyond your abilities. Unless you believe that the problem is insoluble, out of your control—and if you believe that you had better immediately examine that belief, for it is false. You cannot concentrate upon the problem as a problem. And solve it. Concentrate upon it, if you must, as a challenge. You would do better if you forgot it as best you could.