“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

A child might result in your working out full time, in which case you would never, he felt, develop as an artist. Social contacts were kept at a minimum. The isolation he felt you needed would be given you. At the same time his own abilities would be concentrated upon also. It was a do-or-die effort on his part. Once embarked, there was to be no turning back, until finally his own work and your reactions began to hint of difficulties, and his own body reflected them. He tried to keep you from family connections and complications for what he thought was your own good.

All of this was based upon your much earlier beliefs that life was short and that all of your energies must be put into your work. This was literally interpreted, and all other impulses systematically denied until, say, a shopping endeavor like today’s must be first thought out as good or bad. Earlier, spending money on anything not strictly necessary was bad, because it might detract from money needed to allow you to work. Money used meant that you might have to look for work again and not be able to develop your abilities.

The funeral (of my mother on November 19, 1973), family considerations, thoughts of buying a house, brought up difficulties. These were apparent also because at the same time he had begun going out more, giving in some to previously denied impulses, and putting himself in positions that he had not before. He was, in a small period of time, encountering his beliefs in reality as he knows it, therefore.