“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, give us a moment.... Ruburt basically believed that if he did his own thing—writing—money would come to him. For a while, as given much earlier, he was worried about money, believing poverty the mark of the artist. The latter belief fell, however, and in three years the financial picture has changed vastly for the better.

The fact that you did do our notes gave you confidence, while you did not feel threatened by failure as an artist. There is a lot here not pertinent tonight, but interesting in the interweaving of your beliefs. If you would forget such ideas as selling your paintings and simply do them, you could clear some barriers.

You believe you can make money. A simple declarative belief, but it is qualified. You believe you can make money—if you are a commercial artist, or if you take a job, or if you do almost anything else but your best work as an artist. You believe you are a good artist—a simple declarative belief. Between the two beliefs however there is some conflict, since you believe you also need money for your self-respect, but that you cannot get it by being an artist, which you feel is your focus of identity, and highly concerned with self-respect.

A child might result in your working out full time, in which case you would never, he felt, develop as an artist. Social contacts were kept at a minimum. The isolation he felt you needed would be given you. At the same time his own abilities would be concentrated upon also. It was a do-or-die effort on his part. Once embarked, there was to be no turning back, until finally his own work and your reactions began to hint of difficulties, and his own body reflected them. He tried to keep you from family connections and complications for what he thought was your own good.