“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(A quick, and probably partial answer: I do not know how much I may have counted upon Jane’s symptoms in the past to furnish a private world in which I could work. If I ever felt this way it was quite hidden from myself. I do think that the point of no return there was passed some time ago—several years, in fact. Now I think that any such benefits as isolation cannot compare with the price paid to achieve such a state. How could watching my wife hobble along possibly be considered a fair price to pay for privacy? The time spent in performing such simple chores as limping down the stairs and out to the car, for example, is far more on a daily basis than any that would be spent chatting with a neighbor, or even visiting, etc. And above all, the symptoms are not worth it to achieve isolation, for ironically the resultant time to work has lost the one ingredient that is important above all: peace of mind in which to carry out the appointed tasks.)

(All of this has to be turned to finding different methods quickly and an examination of the original theses, and the need for discipline to begin with. What did I give up to get what I’ve got? Do I really want to keep it up and how can I keep good results and get rid of method? Do I really want to end up as an invalid with R. devoting time to me and anything left over to his work, what would this get either of us?