“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper Jane and I went over a long list of reasons—beliefs—she had compiled today about the reasons for her symptoms. I thought the list contained accurate perceptions, the best she has done. Jane made the list because of some things I had said in recent days—that the same reasons for her symptoms were still operating, in spite of all the deleted sessions we’d had, in spite of all the suggestions, etc. Many items on the list seemed self-evident. By session time I didn’t know whether Seth would blast us or praise us.)

The idea of—not perfection, now, but excellence—is presented to consciousness in many ways and in many guises, and the ideal of excellence serves as an impetus for consciousness, an excellence of pattern. The pattern is used as a standard by the individual consciousness. Members of your species are at various stages, and if you ignore stereotypes, historical connotations, then you can see traces of all of the areas of man’s so-called past development now in the present, and also examples of future development. Because of your time concepts and beliefs, the examples from the future even in this exercise will not appear as clearly as those of the past.

The dedication, again, is extraordinary. Taken for granted also is a life relationship with another, and a determination to work out problems within that context; again, a loyalty and love that many have not yet attained. For all of your problems, each of you take your life relationship and your life journey as your lot, accepting the loyalty of the other without question.

The individual feels the presence of great energy, and is unsure as to how to use it. Picasso let it go freely. Ruburt wonders how much wasted energy went into Picasso’s antics—that should have gone into his work. Van Gogh and Cézanne were afraid of their energy, and with all they did could have done far more. Picasso’s free flow of energy in all areas freed energy for his work, and did not detract from it. He kept his channels to energy open, therefore the energy flowed through his work freely, and in a short period of time he could produce a painting that might take years for another as gifted to produce, who husbanded his talent as a miser.

(A quick, and probably partial answer: I do not know how much I may have counted upon Jane’s symptoms in the past to furnish a private world in which I could work. If I ever felt this way it was quite hidden from myself. I do think that the point of no return there was passed some time ago—several years, in fact. Now I think that any such benefits as isolation cannot compare with the price paid to achieve such a state. How could watching my wife hobble along possibly be considered a fair price to pay for privacy? The time spent in performing such simple chores as limping down the stairs and out to the car, for example, is far more on a daily basis than any that would be spent chatting with a neighbor, or even visiting, etc. And above all, the symptoms are not worth it to achieve isolation, for ironically the resultant time to work has lost the one ingredient that is important above all: peace of mind in which to carry out the appointed tasks.)

(Nothing. As I told Jane this evening after reading her list with her: No one, myself included, would have any right to expect another to pay a price such as her symptoms so that the other party would get anything out of the deal whatsoever. My point was that if she perpetuated her symptoms because of any reasons involving me, that she should instantly dispense with all of those reasons. Others should be left to their own devices in life, etc., etc....)

This is not to place his condition in your hands at all, but to point out that each of you still find benefits therein. Or the joint reality would not exist as it is.

All of this involves conscious beliefs, some that you have not officially recognized. I know that your hands must be tired but I want to get this clearly stated. What purposes are Ruburt’s symptoms serving for you? In other words, what joint purpose are those symptoms serving?

You are afraid of releasing your energy into your work, for fear it will carry you beyond all ordinary relationships—simply because your father’s creativity seemed to cut him off from his wife and sons, and to lead to isolation. Creative success, not necessarily in terms of money, but creative fulfillment, becomes then a threat in which you see yourself cut off and isolated—while isolation is precisely what you think you must have to fulfill your abilities.

([December 17, Monday 1973. Jane:] Part of me feels that the symptoms are an acceptable even ingenious way of seeing that distractions are cut to a minimum; to focus my abilities, like a kid getting a cold to stay in, but more sophisticated, cuts through the necessity for explanations, etc. I think that the symptoms have been a means, and less drastic than some taken by others like Van Gogh for instance [though Picasso just let it all hang out]. Extraordinary talent takes extraordinary discipline, and the symptoms can be used against any distraction.

(All of this has to be turned to finding different methods quickly and an examination of the original theses, and the need for discipline to begin with. What did I give up to get what I’ve got? Do I really want to keep it up and how can I keep good results and get rid of method? Do I really want to end up as an invalid with R. devoting time to me and anything left over to his work, what would this get either of us?

11. I think all this is for Rob’s good as much as mine despite my fears and his fears for me. One thing I can give him; buy time for him to do whatever he wants, be free of family and money problems, if he worries about me he isn’t going to feel responsible to get a job and my symptoms give him an excuse not to socially (old ideas) and the symptoms cut down on my flamboyance which has class to express itself in. It’s kept in work where it can’t threaten our framework.)