“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Ruburt has been trying to be economical in terms of money, energy and time. He differed from you only in that he carried your own ideas and his further in certain respects. In others, financially for example, he broke away first and you followed. The idea of the spare, poor young artist or writer, living romantically in a garret or poor apartment, has served as a handy self-image for many in their early years, providing a sense of dignity that enabled such apprentices to make their way. You chose the circumstances. You purposely chose a time involved in which writers and artists had it “hard”—so you cannot turn around then and blame the society. You each wanted to be apart from it to some extent. You (RFB) proved to yourself that your art could support you when you were young. You made good money. Then you immediately disentangled your abilities from economics in a particular fashion. You used your dexterity in “artistic” ways in your jobs—but the bulk of your artistic yearnings were divorced completely from the world at large. Ruburt did not know that his abilities could ever bring him money.

When you worked in an art department, even though you knew you were doing “commercial work,” society referred to you as an artist. You had a certain prestige. When Ruburt needed jobs he worked in a factory, or he was a sales clerk or a door-to-door sales person—jobs he felt that gave him no prestige. He was afraid, however, of such jobs—prestigious ones—for fear the need for money would lead him to neglect his work. He became more economical.

For some time in the past, I grant you, you each considered sex uneconomical in terms of time and energy. Rather than avail yourselves of its great refreshment, you thought of the time taken from your work, each of you; beside this Ruburt feared pregnancy, seeing a child not as any kind of fulfillment, but as an artistic and economic disaster.

You have your existence now as yourself. Nebene has his existence in his own now as himself, and there are many others. Joseph in Seven is a representation of another portion of your being that is connected with Bill Macdonnel. Your “purpose” is to bring those diverse aspects together, to form them into your own kind of artistic production—to wed in your life and art those seemingly diverse qualities of spontaneity and order, spareness and abundance, beloved detail and wholeness, and to form in your life and art a new kind of synthesis.

He took these steps for his own reasons, but you have come together in a joint reality, so his situation is teaching you things that you wanted to learn, and you are learning through his example. You would not take on that physical coloration. In a way however you are working through the same problems artistically, and Ruburt would never accept that coloration, so he has learned from you there.