“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This should be an illuminating session. I certainly hope that later you agree. Let us examine your joint and individual feelings about the need for solitude in which to work, and your disinclination to “hurt people’s feelings” when they intrude.

It is difficult to know where to begin, but we will start with your joint beliefs: (a) that you need solitude a good deal of the day in which to work; (b) your definite belief jointly that this solitude is almost impossible to achieve. Those two beliefs are very important, and put you in a quandary. You never seem jointly to satisfy yourselves with any method or program or routine that works—in other words, that gives you peace of mind.

(9:49.)...There is more here.... Give us a moment. I am now not speaking simply of personal events from your childhoods, or saying that you are mechanically operating now in certain fashions because of them. I am saying that your experiences led you to certain sets of beliefs. In school, ordinary society in adulthood—these were all scheduled toward outward activity. You have gone your own ways, but in some cases you are still hampered by old beliefs. People will not be personally hurt if you honestly state your position. In fact, your ambiguity puts them in an odd position, for you say one thing and mean another. They can feel the difference. When Frank asks Ruburt frankly—if you will excuse the pun (amused)—“Are you working? Am I bothering you?” and Ruburt smiles sweetly and says “No, that is fine,” then Frank is faced with Ruburt’s smiling countenance, while his intuitions tell him something else entirely.

So while you complain and resent intrusion, some part of each of you is reassured. Your fellows do after all seek you out, even if the time is wrong. On the other hand, to some extent you squander the free time you have, for example, squandering your Friday evenings often—but not always. You should have a clear picture, taking some definite time out for friends, and it should be clearly understood that in your working hours you expect to be alone.

In your position, then, Friday night could be a time when your friends know you are available, free, and looking forward to sociability. You would be if the rest of the week were cleared—and it would be cleared if you realized that what was involved was simply a matter of your own quite natural working habits and convenience, and made it clear that people were welcome at another time.

There may be times in working hours when someone comes, and you do feel like seeing them. That is all right. Most of the time, however, you are not honest. You say yes when you mean no. This only serves to reinforce your beliefs that it is impossible to maintain your privacy, and you feel then less in control of your own time.

Your working men will be gone. Ruburt has gone to extraordinary lengths to cut out distractions, among other things, until he realized that he went too far.

Your time will now shortly be your own. You must manage it with conscious decisions, even if you go on trial basis with different methods, working toward what suits you best. It is not the method you latch upon that is important, but that you insist upon making conscious decisions, and taking conscious control of your time. In the past you felt and believed that this was not possible, and so your attempts failed, largely because you were afraid—overly afraid —of hurting other peoples’ feelings, and somewhat afraid that your desire for solitude would cut you off too much from others.

If you arrange for your own work times, and those times are adequate, you will have peace of mind. Then your natural desire also to see other people will propel you, again quite naturally, to make suitable arrangements that will then be most fruitful.

My suggestions in that area, as per Fridays, were simply meant as an example. I was not suggesting each Friday, but some time set aside for sociality, not simply with the Gallaghers. You will not hurt their feelings either. See them twice a month. It does not matter whether you work all night, or so many hours a day, as long as you are satisfied.

In previous periods of improvement, Ruburt often worked nights, because he then avoided the issue—or, rather, took care of it in another manner.

This time he is improving in spite of the working men, for example. In the past several days his body has responded remarkably well, with vitally important loosening taking place. Those improvements are better than even I would have expected, even though the overall locomotion is very uneven.

That is why I want that other issue, so important to both of you, jointly and consciously tackled. If you are so afraid of hurting peoples’ feelings face to face, then lock your doors, and put a “people working, come back later” sign outside. At least you would feel that you were in control of your time, for you are.

I am not speaking idly, or speaking to place suggestions in your mind. Your accomplishments, despite all of the hassles, have accelerated to a point of new creativity. I suggest only that you work from 9:30 to 12:30, from 2:00 until 4:30, and an hour or so, as is your habit, in the evening; and that those hours be maintained. I suggest that you make more of an effort to plan your Friday evenings, so that they are not evenings by default.

Now: further illumination: when Ruburt asks you if you are tired five times in an hour, he means, “I love you. I am sorry that you must go to such extra work during the day, on my behalf. I hope that it does not tire you out. I cannot express my sorrow that I put you to so many chores that I should be able to help you with.” But he does not express his love on such occasions—only his concern. That should sound familiar.

A point: Ruburt’s condition involves a complete reorientation. The working men were a shock treatment of a kind. People often fast because it shocks the system, sometimes beneficially. Normal orientation is disrupted. Such shock treatments often jolt your belief systems. That is why they are sometimes effective. Retreats do the same thing. Often when you work, they give you a perspective. In that light, I have a suggestion only, even considering it will be beneficial, whether or not you follow it.

The suggestion is that you work three nights, and that you do this at least three nights each month. End of session. You would be surprised at the results. But at least give the matter consideration, for that alone will help.