“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This should be an illuminating session. I certainly hope that later you agree. Let us examine your joint and individual feelings about the need for solitude in which to work, and your disinclination to “hurt people’s feelings” when they intrude.

It is difficult to know where to begin, but we will start with your joint beliefs: (a) that you need solitude a good deal of the day in which to work; (b) your definite belief jointly that this solitude is almost impossible to achieve. Those two beliefs are very important, and put you in a quandary. You never seem jointly to satisfy yourselves with any method or program or routine that works—in other words, that gives you peace of mind.

Why is it that you are so afraid of hurting peoples’ feelings in that regard? There is another belief here, then. You both believe (a) that people will not understand, and (b) that they will feel rejected, and (c) that they will reject you, and you will be left quite alone in the solitude you thought you wanted.

Now Ruburt used his poetry also to exert independence from his mother—which implied, he thought, a certain kind of rejection of Marie. These attitudes cause you to try to maintain some solitude while believing it is almost impossible to achieve, and so this of course is your experience.

You feel that your needed solitude implies a rejection of the world. When one person comes to the door, personal acquaintance or stranger, it is the world knocking. You fear that that person will feel the same rejection that it seems to you your mothers felt.

He thinks “I must be wrong. If Jane didn’t want to talk she would have said so,” for Frank is not used to trusting his own intuitions. People are not that easily hurt by honesty. Your beliefs make it very difficult for you to achieve your solitude. While you desire it and feel it necessary, you also to some extent are afraid of it, lest it cut you off too much from your fellows.

Your time will now shortly be your own. You must manage it with conscious decisions, even if you go on trial basis with different methods, working toward what suits you best. It is not the method you latch upon that is important, but that you insist upon making conscious decisions, and taking conscious control of your time. In the past you felt and believed that this was not possible, and so your attempts failed, largely because you were afraid—overly afraid —of hurting other peoples’ feelings, and somewhat afraid that your desire for solitude would cut you off too much from others.

The eyes are in any case improving as the head clears, and in this period your solitude is important. The eyes will become synchronized as the two sides of the body become so. Great inner changes have happened there since our last session.